Scared Bunny

I guess I need to write more often. If I don't people think something is wrong. While I appreciate their concern, that’s usually not the case. Of course some people just seem to like what I write for some unknown reason.

So, to have something to write about I had a great idea. There are these commercials out now about how people are being rejected by eHarmony. If you have read everything in this blog you need to get a life. Just kidding, you know that I think eHarmony must be some kind of cult based on what those people keep saying on the commercials. I also think they give them Ecstasy before filming. But seriously, get a life if you really read all this shit.

Anyway, my plan was this. I was going to fill out their test and then, when they rejected me, I was going to trash them and discuss how crazy I am. But the bastards didn't say no. I have to say to those who were rejected, you must be really fucked up. How the hell did you answer those questions? If you or anyone you know was rejected, read this blog. Read what I have done and been through. It seems to me I am about the least safe bet in a relationship you could find. But, apparently, there are millions of you even more fucked up than I am! Seriously, read this whole damn blog. I'll even refrain from making fun of you for doing it just this once. At least to your face.

So then I have this account with eHarmony. And they're on TV all the time saying that, for free, they'll let me see my matches. That got me thinking because I have a theory. The only semi-good looking couples they’ve had are on those commercials. I'm really being generous there. But when they say you get to check out your matches, they just mean their profiles. Want to see a pic? Got $59? Didn't think so. So my plan to make fun of who they'd match someone like me with is totally shot because, let's be honest, everyone lies in their profiles. What we all want to know is if the person is hot.

Then I started getting requests from women wanting to communicate with me. I thought, OK, maybe if they initiate it you can reply and see a pic. Not only do you not get a pic, you can't reply. See, that’s how they afford all those fucking commercials. They figure after you spend all that time filling out the test you'll pay just to justify the time you just wasted. Frankly, I can think of better ways to spend $60. So now there are all these women who think I am ignoring them. Then again, they paid for this shit, so they may very well be nuts and or desperate. In short, perfect for me.

But, no, I am not giving them $60.

So what am I doing for companionship? Nothing. Not a damn thing.

I am really not ready for a relationship. In fact, the idea truly scares me still. Even as my anxiety overall is better, certain things still trigger quick attacks. And almost all of those things have to do with relationships and marriage. And since I am not exactly good at dating around... You'd think I’d be good at it by now, but I don't even have much experience. Every time I tried I freaked out. I think I may be too blunt for dating. Maybe blunt isn't the word. It's open. I am far too eager to share. People don’t really want that. And I am too willing to give. Secretly that isn't what people want either.

The scary part for me is that I'd almost need those “We knew the first time we met” sparks you see in their commercials. Of course I had that once…

Labels: dating, eHarmony, life