Scared Bunny

My therapist has a phrase she likes to use. She says I am “invested” in being miserable.

Now, understand she doesn’t say this to be mean. She known my childhood and understands I was raised to believe that stress, anxiety and fear were the norm. She also knows I had more than my share of reasons to be depressed, so until I decide to make the change in what I want my life to be like I will always be anxious and depressed.

There is something I have never admitted here. Despite the fact that I have a rule to never date exes, I have and if I wasn’t working real hard to avoid it I probably would again. I know I say that when it’s broken you usually can’t fix it, but I have tried in the past. It never worked. In fact, it usually fell apart faster. But I have trouble meeting people. I am a shy person usually, especially with women. I have so little game a female friend of a friend said my no game was my game.

But what I have been told to do is stop selling myself short. Funny thing is, many of the same things I am being told to do are things the women I was with said in reference to themselves. I have got to stop selling myself short. I have to accept that I am a pretty decent catch. I have a calm and soothing way about me while at the same time a biting satire that can double you over.

My therapist wants me to date. She wants me to try to meet attractive women, with brains and careers. She suggests starting online but that scares me. Other friends say bookstores, grocery stores and museums. Whatever it is it’s time to stop looking at the past and look forward.

Labels: dating, emotions, life, psychology