What do I do with Scared Bunny?
Saturday, April 21, 2007
You know, I have to be honest. There have been only 2 things on my mind most of the time: my wife (I am having trouble sometimes saying ex-wife) and my work. That creates a blogging dilemma because I am not going to write about what we had, and work is not that interesting. I mean I am not really bored at work. I can keep myself amused. But it isn’t that interesting to anyone else. And I am serious that this blog is not the place to write about our relationship in the past or present tense.
So, I have had to think of other things. I had a couple of things I was going to write, but they don’t work for me right now. They might tomorrow, but right now they are not that interesting to me. And if I am not in to them, I just can’t write about them.
But one thing was on my mind. See, I was reminded last night that, at some point, both my wife and I will move on to other people. It’s not something I am too thrilled about, but I guess it’s reality. It does, however, raise a problem. See, I have this blog with tales of exploits that are, well, embarrassing. I wouldn’t ever discuss such things with a girlfriend because it would seem inappropriate. But, at the same time, there they are for the whole world to read.
I have honestly considered deleting them. There is no way I could ever keep my blogs all 500 of them) a secret. It wouldn’t be fair or right, especially if I intended to keep writing in them. It has to be hard to be with me and read about things like the crazy no lube hard anal sex girl. And, I know for a fact, hearing about my past makes some women feel like they aren’t good enough. They imagine I was with women that look like super models, and they feel self-conscious.
But, on the other hand, those stories also represent part of my past I need to remember. I was, and am, unhealthy in many ways. Those tales are reminders of what happens when you aren’t doing what you need to do to live a healthy life. If you read the very first entry you will also see that there was a time, more than one actually, where the blog served as a place for me to get it all out. I didn’t know anyone here to talk to, and needed to tell someone, anyone, what I was going through.
See, I have a dilemma. I will say right now I do not like hearing anything about the sexual/romantic past of someone I am with. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. I know they have a past, but details make me feel insecure. So I feel like having the details out there for everyone to read is not fair or right for someone I am with. But maybe they don’t mind. Maybe, to them, the past is just the past.
It’s not like I need to decide all this right now, but I will say it is weighing heavily on my mind.
So, I have had to think of other things. I had a couple of things I was going to write, but they don’t work for me right now. They might tomorrow, but right now they are not that interesting to me. And if I am not in to them, I just can’t write about them.
But one thing was on my mind. See, I was reminded last night that, at some point, both my wife and I will move on to other people. It’s not something I am too thrilled about, but I guess it’s reality. It does, however, raise a problem. See, I have this blog with tales of exploits that are, well, embarrassing. I wouldn’t ever discuss such things with a girlfriend because it would seem inappropriate. But, at the same time, there they are for the whole world to read.
I have honestly considered deleting them. There is no way I could ever keep my blogs all 500 of them) a secret. It wouldn’t be fair or right, especially if I intended to keep writing in them. It has to be hard to be with me and read about things like the crazy no lube hard anal sex girl. And, I know for a fact, hearing about my past makes some women feel like they aren’t good enough. They imagine I was with women that look like super models, and they feel self-conscious.
But, on the other hand, those stories also represent part of my past I need to remember. I was, and am, unhealthy in many ways. Those tales are reminders of what happens when you aren’t doing what you need to do to live a healthy life. If you read the very first entry you will also see that there was a time, more than one actually, where the blog served as a place for me to get it all out. I didn’t know anyone here to talk to, and needed to tell someone, anyone, what I was going through.
See, I have a dilemma. I will say right now I do not like hearing anything about the sexual/romantic past of someone I am with. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. I know they have a past, but details make me feel insecure. So I feel like having the details out there for everyone to read is not fair or right for someone I am with. But maybe they don’t mind. Maybe, to them, the past is just the past.
It’s not like I need to decide all this right now, but I will say it is weighing heavily on my mind.
posted by R. U. Serious at 4/21/2007 08:56:00 AM
I'm R. U. Serious
From United States
I have nothing to say. I plead the 5th.
7 Comments:
Do what you have to do for you. I think I speak for all of us (your fans) when I say we enjoy reading your posts. If we didn't, we wouln't be here. Maybe some of us are rooting for the underdog hopeing you will find what you are looking for and need. Maybe some of us are here hopeing to watch you fall and hurt yourself, because some people only find joy in the pain of others (we have both dated these women). I would like to see more posts, here, SPers, or SisGrim, but I 100% understand if you don't want to or cant face up to posting more. You have had some hard ones.
BASICLY... Whatever you decide to do, we'll accept your decision, but if we are reading this much, the odds are strong that we want to read more.
PS. I have allways wanted to learn as much as possible about my girlfriends sexual past. Becuase I wanted to transcend it, make the sex better and more often and in more exotic places (broke into a baptist church one night in 1995 and had her behind the pulpit, good times) and the more I knew, the better a lover I was. But that's just me, I'm competitive as hell.
I agree with voiceoreason,from the P.S. on, maybe scared bunny should take note and learn something.or he can always marry a virgin!
Maybe I should explain.
When I ask, have you ever...
I don't want to know who you did, where you did them, exactly what happened, the date...
Can you see how the fact all that is on someone's mind might, just might, make someone uncomfortable?
Holy Smokes.... is that "THE TRICIA"?
As Far as "Making people uncomfey"... Diffrent people are diffrent. Some get uncomfey talking about sex, some at politics, some at Dr's Visits. I know people who freak out at the fact that I have a gun collection. Can I see how talking sexual history might make someone uncomfey, yes. Do I think that it should, No. Be yourself, don't do things that make you uncomfey, don't let people pressure you into doing them either. If they want to know why not, just calmly say "becuase I choose not to, for my own good" and explain as much as you wish and if they can't take your explaination then they need to have faith in your friendship and let it go. Or you need new friends. But your a grown man, stand tall, stand your ground.
On the other hand, SB... Living with things that make us uncomfortable is growth. do this, Take your hands in frount of your face and make a large "A" with your thumbs being the cross bar piece. Now bring your hands together and interlace your fingers. Is your right thumb or left thumb closer to you? Now, interlace them the other way with the other thumb closer. Uncomfey isn't it? But if you hold it this way a while, it will become more and more natural. I said all that to say that as your get exposed to the things that make you uncomfey it starts to get more and more natural. Like building up a tolerance to any drug (good or bad) you will be able to face more and more and eventually nothing will phase you, and if it does, take your time and eventually you get comfey with that.
Whatever you do, don't worry about it too much, you have to do what is right for you. BUt you have options.
One more brief bit on sexual histories. One time I asked about a gals past and she said that one time she had 3 guys at once. All holes filled so to speak. HOW THE HECK can just lil ole me top that? Fact is, I couldn't so I had to do what I could and love her as much as I could KNOWING I could never top it. She has been sexed better than I could, but she will never be loved and cherished more than she was with me.
Jenny had an amazing sexual past that I couldn't live up to. But she CHOSE to be with me (till she moved for a promotion). What she had done in the past wasn't nearly as important as what she was doing when we were together.
The past, is the past. Good, Bad or indefferent (SPELLING). Can't do anything about it, but learn from it.
Learn from the past, live in the present, prepare for the future.
I guess it's different when the past is a person you have to see and hear from every day. Knowing details is hard when you have the face and voice constantly reminding you.
Not that that was our main problem. It's my anxiety.
RU. I am about to give you some advice you can't do anything with because you are not ready for it. So, after I give you the advice that you are not ready for, I am going to give you the advice that you are ready for.
Not Ready: Give yourself some credit. You have got SOMETHING going for you that attracted Tricia in the first place and all the others too. The fact that they found YOU attractive for whatever reason should stand for itself. (and I am talking total package attractive, not just physical) And Tricia found you attractive enough to help you in dark dark times, so YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOMETHING going for you. I don't know what it is, cause I don't know you, other than your SB blog.
Here is what you ARE ready for. I have not allways been as self confident as I am today. I used to be a friggin wreck. I was very into Jesus when I was 17 and was taught to "be submissive" and that "there is no good in me but the lord" and that kinda crap. So when I got out of the whole jesus side of things, I had a very low self image. Here is what I did. I took a look at what I KNEW I could do. I wrote them down and looked at the list and added too it when I found I had a skill or ability I didn't think of the first time. I could shoot skeet like I was born with a 12 gauge in my hands. I could play a game of raquetball moderatly well, I could beat 80% of the people I knew at a game of chess, I was a good citizen. Little shit like this adds up. Your a good father, you have been kind to people who might not find kindness anywhere else. You are good at your job. Write this stuff down and you will find that you do DESERVE some self confidence, that other people can see good things in you.
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