Scared Bunny

Do you ever have something strange happen, and you want to write about it, but there just isn'’t enough there for an entry? Well, that has happened to me today. Actually it was yesterday, but you get the general idea.

See, my wife and I live in a house that, as far as we can tell, used to be a model home. We started to wonder when the County Appraisal District kept stopping by the house to ask if the garage was a garage. Frankly, I find this to be a pretty stupid question. The damn thing has a giant door for one wall. That alone makes it a pretty good chance it'’s a garage. Not that a door for a wall couldn'’t be cool like in the den or something. But it wouldn't be a big metal door. Probably oak.

Anyway, then we started getting mail for Coleman Homes and people we never heard of. I was pretty excited when I was offered 2 Coleman Homes credit cards, since I would be able to install that giant oak door but not have to pay for it. Unfortunately my wife told me that I couldn'’t turn in the applications and get credit cards in some company's name. She said it was illegal or some bullshit like that.

But then the mail came yesterday, and I found something that was just fucking weird. We got a magazine:



Now, it had never occurred to me the world needed a magazine called "“Mold & Moisture Management Magazine: The magazine for moisture prevention and remediation"”. I am not a fan of mold, although moisture can be nice. But it appears that the people who built this house had lots of concern about the topic because they actually got a subscription.

But then I looked closer and the cover story kind of scared me:

"“Timber: Who takes the blame when wood gets wet?"

Frankly, I don'’t think that'’s any of their fucking business. Besides, I am not at all in to blaming someone when my wood gets wet. When my wood gets wet I am generally pretty happy. And I always give my wife credit when she gets my wood wet. She does not get "blame", she gets praise! I sure as hell don'’t get pissed, and I am not about to write a magazine article discussing my wood and who got it wet.

As near as I can tell these contractors are fucking pervs. I was going to look through this magazine, but I'’m really scared of what may be inside.

You'’d think this filth would at least come in a wrapper so kids couldn'’t see it.