Scared Bunny

I guess I am beginning accepted by the people that work around me. Keep in mind this is no small feat. I am surrounded by tech people. For a reason nobody understands the only non-tech people in this huge open space are myself and a guy that works here 2 days a month tops. Since my position is essentially marketing, the tech guys don’t really seem too fond of me. They see me on the phone all the time, usually bullshitting, and think I am slacking. Of course what they call slacking I call networking.

Anyway, most of them have pretty much ignored me. A few tried to get to know my name when someone came up with the idea of a contest for the person that could name the most employees in the building, but most figured that was both a dumb contest and something they wouldn’t have a chance to win because they hardly ever get to leave their desks except to get coffee.

This brings me to the sign that they have decided to get to know me.

Now, I recently discovered that our area has a separate coffee room. It’s nothing special, but it is easier to get to than the break room. And I don’t have to go through any security checkpoints to get there. That is always good since I feel like a criminal when I have to get security clearance to get caffeine.

When walking over there one day I noticed that there was an empty cubicle with its own carafe for coffee, various coffee flavorings and some other coffee related crap. It’s damn near like having a Starbucks sitting in one of the cubes, except nobody has any facial piercings and they aren’t trying to get me to buy the soundtrack.

I assumed that this was just set up by some guy that likes better coffee than the crap we get for free. I don’t blame him. When I am at home I do the whole grinding fresh thing too. But I don’t really have the time for all that at work. I also kind of go on the assumption that my boss would see the indication that I have all that free time as an indication I didn’t have enough work.

Well, I was clued in to the truth today.

When I went for my 12th cup of coffee today the pot was empty. Being the kind soul I am, I started to brew another pot. While I waited for it, I was approached by a woman who works way on the other side of the floor.

“So”, she said, “You aren’t one of the fortunate souls that get the fresh ground coffee?”

I explained that, no, I had to drink the tar coffee and remarked it must be because I am unfortunate enough to sit in the wrong part of the office.

“Maybe it’s not so unfortunate.” she responded. “Personally I would love to be as far away as possible from ‘those people’”.

Now, as near as I can tell, the difference between this woman and “those people” seems to be what coffee they have to drink. She has decided to sidestep some of the fray by switching to tea, but she made it very clear that there is a clear social stratum, and you have not arrived until; you are invited to share the good coffee.

I was grateful for this insight, but I fear it may come at a great cost. After she shared information I headed back to my desk and then, as one would expect, had to go piss out a few of the cups of coffee. As I walked to the restroom the man who sits across from, and apparently manages, our in office Starbucks, trotted over to introduce himself. He was quite friendly, and wanted to know all about me. Personally I felt asking questions as we both visited the urinal was somewhat odd, but that’s OK I guess, as long as he kept his eyes looking forward.

But he didn’t invite me to share in their coffee. I am not sure if I didn’t measure up, or if this was an interview and maybe there will be a vote taken later. I am hoping there isn’t a vote because I think the “I hate Bluetooth” coalition will blackball me for sure.