Scared Bunny

I’m writing in the morning today. I know I should have written last night but, frankly, I have been burned out by the end of the day. Sometimes work will do that to you. And when I have to make this shit up, it seems a lot more like work than fun. There’s nothing really on my mind, so I have to really make the shit up. I am really close to trotting out a certain story because, well, if I am going to get killed I may as well get it over with. But I may take a few days on that one. It is just too good to waste on a throw away post.

I have to rant for a second though. As I mentioned, I have been moderating votes for BlogShares a lot this week. And, if you have ever been there you know that by far the biggest single blog host is MSN Spaces. Now, I know I have readers who blog there, so please don’t be mad when I say this: Spaces blogs suck.

I seriously doubt most of the Spaces bloggers actually read any Spaces blogs. If they did they would notice the 50,000 glitter “art’ pictures, and the annoying music cause the blogs to take about 5 minutes to load. In other words, it takes me about 5 minutes to check to see if the blog really is written in Chinese and by a female. As I write this I am trying to check to see if a blog is written in English. This process literally took 4 minutes, and this wasn’t even a blog with music and pics.

So, you ask, why do I wait? Well, it’s not just because someone eventually has to check these damn votes, so it may as well be me. No, when you try to close the damn window because you are ready to give up, you are forced to close down IE (the browser I am forced to use, btw) completely. In other words, every browser window you have open gets closed because some girl wants to show you what it would look like if Winnie the Pooh would look like if he were sparkly. One woman plays some online game and has created an image of what her warrior slut would look like. Her freaking blog had no less than 10 versions of the same pic, with most just showing various different places she had put sparkles. There was shiny hair. There were sparkly boobs. There was glitter shooting out of her ass.

Listen folks. You are already on very shitty servers. They are slow. The software regularly crashes a browser created by the same company that hosts the blog. Having personally tried Spaces, they limit what you can do much more than other services. But you have decided that is what you want to use. For god’s sake, you shouldn’t be adding shit to your blog that makes the situation worse. I do not care what graphics tricks you have learned, you are making me and many others want to beat you with a keyboard, pour glue on your unconscious body and then sprinkle you with glitter, while playing the latest release from Coldplay.

Oh, and just so you know, all those “hits” you have are just web robots crawling the site. You do not really have 5,000 people a day wanting to hear that you “luv mark cuz he iz sooooooooo hot”. And, really, I saw the pic. He’s a dufus.

I also seriously hate my gas company. Like many people, I set up my account for automatic payment. Since I live alone in a fairly warm climate I don’t use that much gas. And when they offered me a discount for email delivery of statements, I jumped all over that. However, it would be nice if they had a service where they notify you when they are not going to be taking the payment automatically anymore. That would be nice. Or maybe a notification when the payment is late because they didn’t take it could be offered. How about a service where they advise you that due to this change, they are going to disconnect the service? Personally I don’t think waking up to a cold shower qualifies as a “notice of disconnection”. But, they can be happy that they did get to replace the deposit they had refunded because I was never late. And I am sure that the $60 to send the guy out to turn that little knob and make sure the house didn’t explode was money well spent. Of course had they not disconnected and then reconnected the gas, there wouldn’t have been any risk of explosion, but now I do know what happens when you turn off the gas and then turn it back on. Your bank account shrinks.

For the record, my son was enjoying the gas problem because that meant he didn’t have to take a shower last night.

Yes, I know I should have confirmed they were taking the money out, but I didn’t. The amount is relatively small, so it’s not like I had this huge excess balance that I was spending on hookers, booze and blow.

I decided to do something different today.

Last week they had one of those voice sensor psychics on the radio. Personally I have never believed in psychics. Frankly, if they knew anything they would probably not make such a big deal of it. Imagine all the shit people would give you if they thought you could tell the future. I know I’d be trying to get betting tips if I knew a psychic. But, and this is the strange thing, this guy would give answers that wouldn’t make much sense for a real fraud. So I figured what the hell and called.

If he is not psychic, and I am not saying he is, he sure as fuck is good at reading people.

First, all the guy asks is your name and what month you were born. I always though the birthday was because of some sort of astrology thing. It turns out that he just needs to hear your voice. So I told him that and then he wondered what I was wanting to hear about. So I said I wanted to hear about work and relationships.

The work thing I am not going to say was a big deal. He said the company was undergoing a lot of changes, and that will continue. Of course, if you ask about work you have to assume you are doing it for a reason, but there are changes. Hell, I am the only one left in my department. He also discussed diversifying, which is going on. And h predicted layoffs of dead weight, and said I wouldn’t be one of those. OK, we’ll see.

The relationship thing, though, read like he reads this fucking blog. He said I actually want a relationship but I also like my independence. That is amazingly true, and really has been for some time. He said when I do have relationships I end up with troubled women. I guess you could say that. He got an odd tone in his voice though, like he really wanted to talk about my past but knew it would make bad radio. He said what is interesting is that I don’t seek these women out, I just find them. But when I do I think I need to help them. I’d say there is a little evidence of that. He also said that when I do get very close to someone I pull away. Well, the one time it happened that is sure as hell what I did.
So what does he see in the future? Well, he sees me as single for a while. But in late July or early August I will supposedly meet someone. The thing with her is that she won’t be another of these drama cases. He seemed worried that if I met a woman like that I might lose interest, so I was supposed to take time to really get to know her.

I have no idea what to think. I tend to think the whole thing is bullshit. He could be excellent at reading tone and also reading between the lines. And if he is, I will commend him for his skill. And if he is for real, we’ll have to see what happens. One thing is certain, he summed my history up pretty well, and I have to make sure not to make the same mistakes again, with or without “psychic” powers.

It’s not that he told me anything I didn’t know about myself. I was there, so I know the women had issues. I also know that I was trying to help several of them. But regardless of why he said what he said, it reminded me of a lot of shit about myself, much of which I don’t like.

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What do you do when you really don't have much to say?

I know given my frequency of posting and length of most posts that it is hard to believe, but I really don't have much on my mind. That's not entirely true. I mean, hell, I actually updated the cult blog. Of course that isn't saying much. The horrors I was presented with would drive any religious leader to call his followers to action. Plus, I have been extremely busy with work and trying to help with the BlogShares Mod-a-thon.

None of that is very interesting though, and none of it is inspiring any posts. I mean, shit, I have seen more knitting, glitter fonts and political debates than anyone should be forced to endure. None of it has given me ideas for a post. It has made me consider suicide a couple of times, but I got over it.

I also watched some movies. Here is what I observed. First, even when playing a porn producer, Billy Bob Thornton comes across on film less sleazy than he does in real life. Hell, I know porn producers, so I even had a sleaze frame of reference and he still seemed better than when you see him just being himself. I also noticed that the voice of the guy that does all the movie preview voiceovers really grates on my nerves. His voice is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Why, you ask? I have no idea. But this is the absolute truth. Also, hookers in movies look a shitload better than hookers on Cops or in those hooker documentaries on HBO.

So, you are thinking, if I had so much work perhaps that was of interest. Well, other than the potential income, all I observed is that, despite having handled financing for millions of dollars in real estate, some people cannot add 2 and 2. That's not fair. They can add 2 and 2; the answer is just always whatever they want it to be. Amazingly, it is always what they think will get them paid. But, since I can add 2 and 2, and I always get 4, they are pretty much fucked.

I told you my job makes for boring blogs.

I did come across an interesting tidbit: “Reading before bed can be a good habit, but when it becomes habitual, that can be problematic.” I generally find I have a problem when my habits become habitual. It is much better to have habits that you don’t do habitually. For example, I try to make sure that I drink a pint of vodka every day at 7pm, but I don’t make a habit of it. I just always do the exact same thing. I mean, I don’t mind having uncontrollable cravings for something, but I certainly wouldn’t want to be addicted.

Want to know something else boring? I set up a computer for work at the kitchen table. I was there all day because I was so busy with work. This has allowed me to realize just how uncomfortable those fucking chairs are. Granted I was in the chair like 9 hours, but damn my asscheeks are sore now. I also realized I put more weight on my right cheek than my left cheek. I have no idea why, but this is clearly true based on the relative asscheek pain.

I am also hungry, and bored with this post. So I say goodnight, and have some bacon.


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You know what annoys me? Damn near everything.

OK, there is something specifically on my mind. I was going through incoming links and came across a blog I hadn’t seen before. I like to see who has linked one of my blogs so I can than them, so I went to the blog to see if it was a new link or just one of those “next blog” hits from Blogger. So I get there, check for a link and there isn’t one. I was about to surf away when I noticed something:

Warning: If you know Shay in real life, You are NOT Welcome here. Kindly turn your browser around NOW and find somewhere else to read. You have been warned.

OK, let’s see if I have this straight. Someone has set up a blog on one of the largest public blog sites in the world to post things she doesn’t want strangers to read. That is among the stupidest things I have ever heard. The frightening part is that it’s not uncommon. There are all sorts of blogs where this shit happens. I have left comments on blogs and gotten nasty emails from the blogger, not because my comment was rude or offensive, but because they feel strangers have no right to comment on their blog.

Hell, I once left a comment on a blog where a girl was talking about being in love. Her whole fucking blog was about it. I said she was too young to worry about things like that. At her age the chances were she was not going to find the love of her life, so she should just enjoy her youth and focus on what really does matter to a young kid: school, friends and family. And in response I got a shitty email from her father asking who I thought I was commenting on his child’s blog. I didn’t argue with him or even engage him. Had I decided to, though, I would have asked him why he allows his daughter to have a public blog, with public comments, where she talks about noting but being in love. I can understand being protective of your kid, but the better way to do it would be to control their behavior, and not try to control the innocent behavior of others.

Here’s the thing. The fucking Internet is not private. Hell, there is no such thing as “anonymous” on the Internet. If someone really wants to find out who you are, and they know how to do it, they will. If you want to keep your thoughts private, don’t post them on the Internet. If you have a select few people you want to read them, write a fucking email and send it. But, chances are, if it’s even remotely interesting, and the recipient list is very long, one or more of the people you send it to are going to share it.

I would say I share about as much as anyone. The only things I don’t talk about are my ex-wife and people that will be obviously identified and therefore embarrassed. Oh, there are also people I think might show up at my house and try to kill me. But I do this understanding that friends and strangers alike are going to read it and love me, hate me or pity me. I cannot imagine writing this shit and attaching a note saying that unless you were personally invited you needed to leave.

That reminds me. I have another one of those stories I am DYING to tell, and I can’t. I know if I did the other person involved would see herself in the story and it would really hurt. So, if you read this regularly, remind me in a few weeks. It’s too good not to tell, and I will probably forget. Hell, I have another one I was going to tell, but then the woman in question “accidentally” called me, so now I am worried she’s still reading this to see if I mention her. Again, it’s not worth hurting someone’s feelings. This story is one where the person in question would definitely know it was about her. I have seen some wild ass shit but never anyone like her. I have heard about things like this, but had never seen them for myself. All I can say is it’s as twisted as I thought.

Well, I am done for the night. I am hoping to get to bed at a decent hour, get up at a decent hour, and get some shit done tomorrow. So I must depart. Before I do, let me say that Blogger sucks and I can’t wait until I am ready to move this blog to a different server too.

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I sure hope I get to bed early tonight. Not only am I currently exhausted, tomorrow is yet another of those days where I have to be up early to get my son off to school. This is a serious problem since I can barely get myself moving in the morning, even when I get plenty of sleep. I am not a morning person. If there were a way to have my job be one that goes from 1pm to 9pm, I’d be solid. Unfortunately, people expect me to work 8-5.

Actually, that is not quite accurate. Most people expect me to work from 8-5 in their time zone, regardless of where that may be. That means that, ideally, I should be working 7-7. But it gets better. You see, people who want a lot of money want it done on their schedules. And many of them don’t have a 9-5 life. So they want me to be available and take their call whenever they decide to call. So, some of them expect me to take their call any time from 6 in the morning till 9 at night. Therefore, with time zones taken in to consideration, I need to work from 5-11. And, of course, they also think that every day is a good day for work, so they want me to work weekends too. In fact, other than Thanksgiving and Christmas, I think I have gotten calls every day of the year.

The great thing is, of course, that my current boss actually expects me to take those calls, regardless of when they come. And the other great thing is that the majority of the calls are not real opportunities. The joys of the Internet have people finding my number that really don’t actually have anything to do with my industry. They want to, but they don’t know a thing about it. That means I often get to be their teacher. I don’t mind that too much during the week, but 9pm on a Sunday is not a time when I really want to be their teacher.

Now there is a major change. You see my boss has quit his job. Now, I could bitch about this because I had to be told by another employee, even though he and I had spoken earlier that very day. But I won’t, because she had it worse. She called me to complain because he had denied he was leaving when asked point blank 2 days earlier. Yeah, that gives you a lot of faith in the guy. Of course, when the boss is leaving you kind of wonder how that impacts your life. In this case, I was wondering if he was leaving because my job was going somewhere, like away. Of course he says it’s not. He also said he wasn’t quitting.

But hopefully I will never have another boss tell me a 10 GB hard drive is huge. I wonder if his wife has been making similar comments. (Yeah, that was mean.)

That is kind of why my mind has not been on blogging this week. Well, that and Fight Night Round 3, where I was just able to win the heavyweight championship.

I haven’t been too interested in trying to get dates, what with not knowing if I really had a job. I need to get back on that, but his departure has meant that I am getting all the business. See, I am now the only one left in the department. And, apparently, there is a whole bunch of new business that is coming in. I actually should be working now, but I am too damn tired, it is too damn late and I had my son tonight, so that is what I did to keep busy. Tomorrow will therefore be busy as hell.

After this week, I need to get out this weekend, have some beers and at very least talk to some adults who don’t want to know what interest rate they can get and an explanation of what an inverted yield curve is.

I also want to take a really liberal friend to a gun show and mess with the freaky members of the gun show community. This would also be a great opportunity to discuss, in a voice a little to loud for privacy, how the only thing dumber than Larry the Cable Guy is that people actually pay good money for his shit. Personally I think this would be a great day, provided we didn’t get shot.

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God this sucks. First off there is all this work shit going on, and I have sworn not to blog about work because, well, it’s boring as hell. It’s all serious shit, so I am really not in a mood to make light of it either. Maybe later.

On a slightly related note, anyone that refers to a 10GB hard drive as “huge” needs to stop smoking crack.

Then there is the ex that has gone from doormat to ballbuster. I have to admit that I miss her a lot more than I ever thought I would. I don’t miss her anywhere near enough to actually try to fix things, but it still sucks. If there were something for us to work out, I’d consider it, but when the problem is someone else’s behavior the only option to “work it out” is to accept it. But I really have no desire to deal with someone who is selfish and insensitive. I understand why she is that way, but that doesn’t mean I have to put up with it.

I know that there are people, including some therapists, who tell people who have been told that being selfish for a while is part of the healing process. Others have been told it is necessary as part of learning to take care of yourself. Frankly, I think that’s bullshit. When you do something that isn’t good for you the solution is to stop doing it. I don’t see where not letting people treat you like shit requires you to instead treat them like shit. That’s like telling an alcoholic that to stop drinking he needs to instead get someone else to drink the booze.

Oh, and I watched The Aviator for the 5,000th time. All I can say is that when Howard Hughes tells Katherine Hepburn “Don’t you ever talk down to me. You are a movie star and nothing more.” I started thinking it’s too fucking bad that there aren’t people all over America telling actors and actresses this same thing every time they start pretending to be experts on everything under the sun.  He was nuts, but he got that right.

I saw something strange today. It seems someone actually won a Blogger blog in a poker game. According to the guy that won it he took it because he heard there was money in blogging. In fact, he even says he bet his laptop against the blog. Now, I am not saying there isn’t money in blogging, but how many bloggers do you know personally that are making money? And why would you bet a laptop against something you can get for free? Hell, even if he had paid someone for the design you could steal that. He didn’t have a domain name, so there wasn’t anything there to buy. I actually feel bad that the guy lost his blog. That laptop would have made the damn thing profitable.

Also, be sure to visit this site. It’s a gas.

I have had some weird dreams lately. In one I was in Vegas and ended up at Jay Mohr’s birthday party. He got drunk as a motherfucker and we both went back to a huge suite. And we had company: Jessica Simpson. She went back to the suite because it was Jay’s birthday. But he was to drunk. There wasn’t any sex in the dream though. It was one of those weird dreams where things fade out like on TV. The dream picked up the next morning. Jessica was really depressed. Probably because she was acting like a total slut. So, I left and went snowboarding with Toby McGuire. One cool thing about dreams; There can be snowboarding 20 minutes from The Strip in a dream. When I got back I had to have dinner with Jessica and her family. Her dad didn’t like me much.

Then, a couple of nights later I had a dream that I was working at a radio station. One of the DJ’s somehow got burned. Given his show that is actually believable. He ended up in the hospital and, for some reason, it became my job to take him home. But there was a decision made that we needed to get some pot for his pain. Since I don’t smoke I went and asked a friend where he got his pot. He tried to get me in touch with his dealer, but the guy wouldn’t answer. Then I remembered a place in town that sold bongs and I assumed pot. This part was particularly weird because that “memory” actually came from another dream.

Somehow, we had moved from Dallas to the town I was born in, so we drove downtown where the store had been in the other dream. But, unfortunately the store was out of business. When I drove around the corner I noticed the back door was open. So I went in and looked around, but the place had been emptied out. That’s when a lady from an adjoining dress shop came in because she had heard the noise. I made some sort of excuse and was trying to get out when I noticed an open refrigerator. Inside there were several small pot plants. The lady thought they were some kind of flower, so I took them “so they won’t die”.

Obviously I need some sort of medication for less weird dreams. That or dreams that at least don’t cut away during the sex.


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I will just tell you right now, I am not in the mood to write. That’s not quite accurate. What is on my mind just doesn’t belong here. It does not involve crazy women or anal sex, so it will just have to stay in the regular world instead of this fantasy world we call the Blogosphere.

For the record, I hate the fucking word Blogosphere.

And my mood is not ruined by what you expect. That is to say, it is not caused by the realization that Larry the Cable Guy has a fucking movie coming out. Initially I will admit that this had me suicidal, but then I remembered we have already been through this with Ernest about 15 times, so I am sure we will survive this time. I am maturing and I can accept that there is no justice or sanity in the world. As long as nobody tries to make we watch the movie nobody will get hurt.

So I really don’t know what I am going to write here. I know it won’t be about exes, because, well, right now I am afraid of them. I mean, shit, I know damn well something is brewing. They can’t have gone away. And the 2 I have most recently had contact with are the 2 I haven’t really talked about here. Well, that’s partially true. One I have mentioned, I just left out the most exciting, wild and twisted story, just in case.

I could also write about what I did last night instead of sleeping, but how interesting are old movies and Fight Night Round 3 for the PS2, even if there is the mystery as to why the game has decided that, in all of the pseudo-news reports, my name shall be Patterson?

By the way, did you know that it is against the rules to mention in posts that you would really like people to know and then click on Google ads so you get a little change? I think it is also against the rules to make similar comments regarding the Chitka and CrispAds, so I certainly won’t mention that if everyone just clicked once a day I might be able to order a pizza or something.

Oh, also, I find it funny as hell that Scary Personals is too offensive to have a small link on a conservative news forum, but it’s OK for people to say that humans are the only animal dumb enough to breed outside it’s own “species”. And, for the record, they weren’t referring to freaks that screw sheep. I posted a pic so small people emailed me to tell me it was too small to read, but it’s OK to complain about “race mixing”. I’m all for free speech, but if I was going to censor one of those 2 ideas, it wouldn’t be the one where we laugh at people that post pictures of themselves sitting on a toilet in an effort to attract a mate. Oh, and to the person that complained about my little link, if you are reading this, I know that the gun guy pic is you you perv.

I was just informed that my 13-year-old nephew is trying to do essentially the same thing with his hair I am doing with mine. The main difference, of course, is that I don’t have a SWAT Team Member former Marine father telling me to get a fucking haircut. Sucks to be 13. The last time he did anything with his hair he got it bleached. It then turned green and started to fall out. That could have something to do with why he is not getting a good reaction from his father on this one.

And, for you guys wondering about shaving your balls: I gotta tell you something. Get yourself some of that bikini line cream to remove taint hair. 10 minutes later you hop in the shower and rinse off and you will be very happy with the results. I mention this not only for the value of this information, but because I know it will also offend the same people that hated my link. Some people are fun to offend.

I also wish keyboards came without caps locks.

Now I am done, and you actually read all this. I would say I’m sorry, but I think it’s funny you got this far.


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OK, there is something beyond the recent trend of women posing with their much younger and hotter daughters in their personal ads that I don’t get. This is the strange desire people have to post pictures of themselves with exes. Now, I can understand the fact you want to show that, yes, at some point there was someone willing to sleep with you. I can see how you might want to show that your ex was hot in the hopes that other hot people will see this and decide that means you are acceptable for someone of their level. But I have a problem with this practice.

See, that person is not with you any more. Therefore, we can assume there was some kind of problem. Now, in theory there is a 50/50 chance that you broke up with this hottie, but let’s be real. If said person really is hot, odds are they don’t need a personal ad. Those of us with personal ads are really kind of assumed to be the loser in any relationship. That may not be fair, but it’s true. Id say if it is a case where there is a disproportionate attractiveness level between the two it is really a safe assumption that this hottie in the pic with you dumped you. Therefore, I would think that, were other really hot people looking at your ad, they would decide that you have been tried by others of their hotness level and been rejected.

I guess one reason it confuses me is I don’t keep pictures of exes. I really don’t need them. I do have a couple of pictures of my ex-wife in my son’s room, but that’s the extent of it, and even those are only for his benefit. Seeing here when I drop him off at school (she works there) is more than reminder enough for me. Of course I am somewhat biased here. Some people actually have good memories of events that happen to have involved exes. I will say that if I had been given a copy of Heather’s booking photo I might have kept that.

That reminds me. A long time ago I mentioned that it seemed like about half of the guys in the personals I moderate say they are firemen. While that may have been an exaggeration, I read an interesting survey in GQ. It listed all sorts of lies told by guys to get laid. According to the survey, 2% of American men have said they were firemen to get laid. So, there you have it ladies. That fireman you fucked was more than likely not really a fireman. I base this on the fact that far less than 2% of American men actually are firemen. I would say that unless you see him drive the big red truck and then get off and of his own free will walk in to a burning building, assume the guy is lying.

And, for the record, I don’t give a shit how much ethics training they are required to have. I don’t trust Realtors as far as I can throw them, and I deal with them every day for work.  Really…any industry that has to run commercials to convince you they aren’t crooks has probably got something to hide.

I also have to say this real quickly. If you have ever seen one of those “Find your pimp name” web pages, and no how to program one, drop me a line. I have an idea for one.

Oh, and if you are on Blog Mad or any of those services, when you have music that automatically plays on your page, lots of us automatically give you a thumbs down rating. Just so you know.
So, now I have some work to do, but I leave you with this. A hearty thank you to the Church of Scientology for getting the South Park episode pulled. Had you not done that, I never would have watched it, and that was some funny shit. Fucking twits.

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I was watching Big Love again, and I got to thinking. Do you think that, if some polygamist dude were actually lucky enough to get hot wives, that if he had any teenage sons they might end up getting the hots for one of the other moms? I kind of think they would. I just don’t buy the whole idea that they would just treat the other women like extra moms. Hell, I was never even able to treat my step-mom like an extra mom. Of course she was a raging bitch who resented the fact I existed, but still.

Also, I have to ask something else. Do you think it’s an accident that a child calls up and when you look at the phone number on caller ID it’s an ex? And do you really think it is just a wrong number and an amazing coincidence? Oh, and when the ex gets on the line and pretends they don’t know who they are talking to, and again claim it’s a wrong number, am I supposed to believe that? Sorry, I know this wasn’t a misdial, and I kind of find the whole thing childish. And, as you all know, I really do need to get laid, so the least she could do is make a booty call instead of having her kid call.

I still think Batman was a perv and he was molesting Robin.

I have had to surf a lot of personal ads lately, and not just to try to find a date. The lost personal ads have got to be replaced. It’s not always easy finding good ads. But it is great for psychology. One interesting trend I am noticing is in women in their mid to late 40’s. They seem to enjoy putting up their pic with their daughter. Maybe it’s just me, but that just seems like a bad idea. Let’s be honest. Most of us in will not look good by comparison when we’re in our 40’s. And, I will be blunt; these ladies don’t look good by comparison.

I am wondering what the motivation is. I know it could just be that they don’t have many pictures without family. But, honestly, they really should crop them. That is, of course, unless they are playing some kind of twisted game. Anymore I have to wonder if that is the motivation. And we all know there are going to be guys that reply to mom to get to the daughter. Hell, that’s a given. (And, for the record, I am talking about daughters in their twenties, not little kids.)

I need a haircut, but I kind of like it being longer.

Yes, I am rambling. I have not got anything blogworthy on my mind. Mostly I am dealing with my son and he seems to be having dreams like his old man. He does a lot of talking in his sleep. He woke up once very upset, convinced he had hurt me. I felt awful. Then he woke up an hour later very happy and excited at what he had accomplished. So I congratulated him, told him I was very proud and I also told him after all the excitement he probably needed some sleep. There are traits I have I wish he didn’t get, and my sleep issues are on that list.

I have been reading research that links deficiencies in certain brain chemicals to the types of sleep disorders I have and he seems to have. For myself I’m going to try a supplement just to see if it helps. The studies show some promise. Hell, they are developing drugs based on the deficiencies already. I’d love to be in one of those studies, but they are in Wisconsin, and I have no desire to go to Wisconsin. I don’t like cheese.

Somehow it seems wrong for a man who is a fundamentalist Mormon with 3 wives to use Viagra. If God wanted him to have 3 wives, including a couple of young hotties, he’d have given him wood.

And if you tag posts boobs and doggie style, you get a lot of hits.



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I really don’t have much on my mind tonight, so I am not sure how much I will write.

First, I got banned from a political site for having a small tag to Scary Personals on the end of my posts. Keep in mind this is not at all uncommon there. Hell, the image I used was very small and unobtrusive. But I guess they decided the site was obscene. Hell, if that’s obscene they must live a miserable existence because I see more offensive shit at Wal Mart.

I don’t have a problem with them deciding they don’t want that link. It’s their site and they have the right to do that. But I would think that a warning or at least an explanation would be called for. Especially since I was actually posting legitimate responses to the articles. And it wasn’t very many posts. I think maybe I am just not conservative enough for them. That could be because I’m not really conservative. I just hate governments and I hate them spending my money and telling me what to do when I’m not hurting anyone beside myself.

In other words, I’m libertarian. Unfortunately there are 2 kinds of “libertarians” on the net. There are those that just want pot legal (I agree with that, but have other thoughts too) and the total nuts that were kicked off every other type of site so they side with a group they figure let’s anything go.

I also have to say, I have been giving some thought to that ex. Not in terms of trying again, but just our history.

First, let me explain something. When we met she was a stripper. But she was not one that was a hustler. Instead, she was one of those that kept the job because she liked the attention from guys. She never felt attractive or in any way special. I heard her mother many times pretty much insult her, and her history with guys was pretty similar, but also more abusive. In short, this was a girl with a low self-image.

I really didn’t like that about her. I have always let her know that she was better than she was letting herself believe. She was not the screw up her family said she was. She had a lot more potential than they gave her credit for. She also didn’t deserve to be abused. And she certainly didn’t need to be a stripper to feel attractive.

But she had made a lot of mistakes in her life. She stayed dancing much longer than she should have. This really did make it harder for her to find a decent job. She did what she had to, though, and started working at a restaurant. But even then she showed a couple of her old weaknesses weren’t behind her. She wanted guys to flirt more than they did at this particular restaurant. She also has clearly developed a taste for alcohol. So twice she quit the restaurant to go work as a bar waitress. And twice it went bad after getting involved with guys in the bar. So twice she has gone back to the restaurant.

But, she also has gone back to school. Originally she wanted to become a nurse, but she realized that with three kids and a strong need to get out of her mother’s house, that program would not be practical. Additionally, she had a brief job at a hospital that ended very badly, as I have mentioned before. So, instead, she studied to be a cosmetologist. From what I hear she is very talented. And while not the greatest career, it is not a bad job. I was always very supportive of her studies, and think it is a great thing she is doing.

But what I see happening here is two separate things. First, she is not settled down, despite some positive steps. She is 29, and if the theory given to me is correct, it will be some time until she is settled. And her actions seem to me to show that she does not want to settle. First, there are the job decisions. I can understand that a temporary job won’t be a career type position. But when you bounce around various bars and restaraunts that screams unsettled. Then there is the fact she is moving slower than she should be in her education. There is always something that happens that causes her to miss time. In my experience that usually is less legitimate problems than just attitude. Finally, her mother has moved in with her. This is a woman that belittles her and tries to run her life. These are all signs to me that she isn’t ready to put her shit behind her.

The other thing I see is someone that has finally accepted that she’s not the piece of shit everyone else in her life was dedicated on convincing her she was. But she seems to think that gives her the right to treat everyone else like shit. She’s overcompensating for everything that was done to her. I was very supportive of her finally standing up to her ex husband. But there is a difference between looking out for yourself and being really fucking selfish. She’s crossed that line and then some. I’ve seen it before and should have expected it based on a couple of things that had happened.

Oh well, those that don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat it, and I did.

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Well, cancel that booty call.

If you read often you realize I had considered getting back together with an ex, only to have her treat me like shit and show a very ugly side. Then she approached me to apologize and wanted to give things another shot. But at that time I had stressed that under the circumstances I had to make sure I had the upper hand. And it kind of looked like that was a possibility.

Then I mentioned that she had really come to a conclusion she didn’t have the time to even try a relationship, so it was off, but breakup sex was on the table. Then, as we talked, it seemed she wanted to consider trying a relationship, and I was interested, but wary. I didn’t like the tone she was using.

I had noticed she was already going back in to “I call the shots” mode. But, you know, when you fuck up and treat someone like shit, you really shouldn’t be assuming they are just going to let you take charge of the relationship. So, as we were chatting I was trying to carefully remind her that if one of us should be taking the part of “kissing ass to get a shot”, it really shouldn’t be me. She didn’t seem to be catching the hints.

So, as we chatted I asked if she had an idea when I might be able to see her, and she said she’d come up to see me if she had the time and someone to watch her kids, but she didn’t, so it would have to wait. Of course, a few minutes later she said she was going out drinking with friends, who had just called (i.e. not plans she already had made). Those things are a little contradictory. Plus, she had explained that the night she had been a bitch was a total aberration and that she never went out drinking.

Well, that had my alarm bells ringing. Here I have someone who I would have thought would want to show me she wasn’t really the raging bitch she was that night acting like she was doing me a favor even considering dating me. And she seems to possibly be lying about not having any free time. Plus she is certainly lying when she says she never goes out drinking with those friends (this became painfully clear). So, I called her on it.

She didn’t like that.

So, with that, we’re done again. And while the sex was always great, tonight she showed me for sure that she really has changed. She wanted me to think that night was the exception rather than the rule. She was full of shit.

What she doesn’t get is that her going out to a karaoke night is not that big a deal. I don’t give a shit about that at all. What I do mind is when someone tells me they can’t ever go out, and can’t go out this weekend in particular, when they in fact can. And my experience has been that when someone lies about how often they drink and what they do when they drink, there is generally a lot of drama that goes along with that.

One thing she knows is that I can’t stand liars, and she has been telling way to many lies for me. Add in her fondness for drinking, and you have drama just waiting to happen. And even the drama wouldn’t be an automatic no if drinking and lying didn’t cause it. I have a big problem when it comes to people that drink a lot. I can’t just let go of that, and I’m not sure it’s a good idea to try.

So, this chapter is closed. I guess I need to find a new book because all of these really suck.




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I wasn’t going to write tonight. I kept falling asleep all evening. I had planned on waiting till I was sure Casey was asleep and hit the hay. But now I have a second wind, so I’ll write a little bullshit and try to piss off more people.

I have to bitch for a second. I need to explain something to any tech people that happen to read this blog. When a user sends you an email because he has a problem, you are really supposed to reply to it. And when that same user calls and leaves a message, you should reply to the call. See, when we do that and say we have a problem, it is because we have a problem. And when we call and email several times, it is usually a sign it is a big problem. I really shouldn’t have to call my boss, to get you to respond.

And, when I leave a message saying I need you to give me my login and password for email that means I do not have that information. Typically I do not make such a request just to test your response time. I could do that, but it isn’t that fun. Were I doing that, we now know the response time is about 36 hours. Of course the actual time it took to get the information was the 90 seconds when you accidentally answered the phone instead of letting it roll over to voicemail.

See, I use my email a lot for work. In fact, I have clients I deal with only by email. And when they email me and I don’t reply, they get mad. They like it when we are responsive for some reason. And it’s a little hard for me to reply to an email before I see it. I have been trying to get the ability to read minds, but it isn’t going very well.

In other news, I talked to that ex again. No, we are not going to date. Maybe she will be single when she gets out of school, but I doubt it. Plus, even if she is, I am betting she won’t move closer and I sure as hell am not selling my house to live down there. I have no desire to live in a small town like that again. And if she were to move, I get the feeling she’ll still have the kind of friends that make us both want to drink.

However, we did have a discussion about breakup sex. I admit it. I am fucking horny as hell. We get along, the sex is good and neither of us is involved. That makes the two of us having a hook-up desirable. Usually in this situation I advise against this sort of thing, but the things that keep us apart also make it easier to deal with things. See, neither of us can really do much to drive the other one nuts. We could call, but avoiding calls is easy. We can’t drive by. We never end up at the same place. We don’t know any of the same people.

I really have no desire to continue this self-imposed celibacy. I have been very well behaved for a very long time, and I have earned a little nookie dammit. I would rather do this than pick someone up too. I hate hanging out in bars, and I have no luck in grocery stores. I tried to get my friend to hook me up but he said his girlfriend’s friends are all mean. I am not really sure what that means, since I doubt they meet the standards I have become accustomed too. Justin was supposed to send me a Venezuelan, but I think she got lost in the mail or something.

Unfortunately, there is a problem. See, I would make time to run down there during the day while her kids are at school, but that won’t work. Her mom moved in with her. That would be OK except her mom is also not working right now, so she’s home all day. I had thought perhaps this could be used to our advantage as giving her an excuse to guilt mom in to watching the kids for a night. Unfortunately, mom still doesn’t watch the kids. She has money to pay half the bills, so guilt is out.

So, actually, I am not going to be getting laid.

That sucks.

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There is one sure way to have a massive headache. All it takes is for your computer to die, lose everything you have save and have to start from scratch.

100 plus Scary Personal ready pics are now gone. You will not get to see such great pics as Bizarre Beret Boy, I hump my friends while they sleep, I look best passed out on the floor and Disco Whore From Hell. You also will not get to see my collection of narcoleptics. I am pretty torn up about this. It means I have to find a shitload more pics. That means I have to look at a shitload more ads. I have no desire to do that as much as it will take. But I am going to do it for you. I know there are people who need to see those ads to laugh at the poor pathetic souls that were dumb enough to post those pics. So I suffer for you. I suggest ya’ll start clicking on the ads so I can at least afford the therapy I’ll need.

As I am sure you can tell, it was not a good day. Waking up to the Blue Screen of Death will do that. I have one of those jobs where I can’t do much without a computer. So today I got to spend my working hours trying to get this piece of shit working. This is where we hit problem number one. The good people at IBM have created a “recovery disk”. This is actually 3 disks, but we won’t get hung up on semantics. But this recovery disk has a small problem. It requires you to have yet another disk to create a start-up disk to perform the recovery.

This is where things got tricky. See, ideally they want you to use a floppy disk for this. But, well, there is no floppy drive. It seems someone wanted to save a little money, so I only have a CD-Rom. And the CD refused to write the boot disk to a CD ROM. That means you can’t actually do a recovery. Instead, I got to do a complete reformat, reinstall the several years of Microsoft patches and reinstall every bit of software. That sucked.

It also meant getting all the saved passwords form our tech people. This is the downside to not only having a home office but also being the only employee in the state. I am not really sure what their working hours are, but I know they aren’t 8-5. They also don’t seem to do a very good job at the little things like answering the phone, or responding to email. Plus they won’t just send me the passwords; they have to be done by phone. And each system has a different person responsible for it, so I need to get calls from everyone. And did I mention that the guy in charge has to get me the email info? Well, forgive me if I forgot that part because he did too. He made sure to have everyone else call me, but didn’t get around to calling me himself.

You’ll forgive me if this has left me in a less than chatty mood. Unless of course you have the information I need to get to my work email. In that instance I will be very fucking chatty.


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OK, I have a confession. I am in love with Natalie Portman.

I really didn’t used to. I didn’t dislike her, but she was just another star. It probably didn’t help that she was in the Star Wars movies, because those were really pretty shitty. Sometimes a movie is so bad that it gets its stink on the people in it. Hell, I haven’t even really forgiven Samuel L. Jackson for them either, but he made Pulp Fiction, so I have decided to let him get away with falling for the Star Wars Hype. But Natalie, while she’s made some good movies, doesn’t yet have a Pulp fiction quality film on her resume, so I was probably biased against her unfairly.

Then I saw this.

OK, so it’s not her best acting. But damn that shit is funny. And she really does act pretty well in certain parts. But, most of all, when a chick can go so totally against type, it’s really hot. Hell, I actually downloaded that motherfucker and I wish I had a Video Ipod just so I could take it with me. I wouldn’t even have to watch it. I’d be satisfied just having it play over my car’s stereo as I drove down the road. Hell, I would love to have that fucker blaring as I pick up my son from school. I like tweaking the ultra-religious parents at his school.

Normally, I don’t care one way or another about a woman flipping you the bird. I know lots of guys seem to get off on it, but usually it comes across as either phony or trashy. But this time it is more than just a little different. Part of it is because it’s just a part. But in reality it’s because she can come across as totally different. Usually actors, even good ones, really play everything the same. But she clearly can act totally different. And I can see that being all sorts of fun.

Plus, to my knowledge she hasn’t blown Vincent Gallo.

I also may have found a man who dates crazier women than I do. Well, to be fair he actually married the chick. That takes it a level beyond what I did. Of course, he’s as bad as she is. See, this is a Mexican couple that has taken fighting to a whole new level. Cops got called because their fight turned violent. And this is violent even by the standards of my wonderful ex. They weren’t satisfied with hitting. First, they started going at each other with knives. But knives are a messy way to fight. Plus you have to get up close.

So this couple decided they wanted a weapon better suited for killing your spouse without getting too close. They got guns. Now, this happened in Mexico where they have really strict gun laws, so I am betting they were some kind of criminal couple. They took their guns and shot at each other. But they were apparently really bad shots, which happen when you don’t practice, because they missed. At this point they decided they needed weapons that would have a larger effective kill radius.

So they started throwing homemade bombs at each other.

Again, I am kind of assuming this is a sign they were involved in criminal activity. Even with all the crazy women who could possibly wish to kill me, I would have been stalled at the knife part. I do have a baseball bat from when I played softball.  But I don’t have any guns and there certainly aren’t any bombs around here. Don’t get me wrong. As an American male I could rig up a Molotov cocktail. It is in our nature to enjoy fire and explosions. But there certainly aren’t any sitting here just in case I need to kill someone.

Eventually the cops showed up and arrested them. I am amazed that these people didn’t attack the police when they got there. I suppose it’s possible they were just out of knives, ammunition and bombs. Actually, I guess that is the only possibility that makes any sense. Of course, they also may have been distracted because throwing bombs is a good way to set your house on fire (which they managed to do).

I am just going to be glad that I never had anything like this happen to me. I kinda like my house.



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Can you believe this shit? I started out writing a post for here and ended up with something for This Is A Cult. Now I have to start over.

OK, there are a couple of recent events I have to share. The first has to do with that ex. It ain’t gonna happen. The cynic in me tells me there is another guy (again) but her story does hold water. She had been planning on not working until she graduates in July. With that plan she and I would have had at least a little time together, so it made some sense to consider giving it a shot. However, she came to the realization she couldn’t afford that, which was kind of what I thought. That means she’ll be working almost every night, plus going to school and taking care of her kids. In other words, no room for me at the inn.

That’s actually not quite fair. If I were willing to get involved in her kids’ lives again I could. But I just am scared to death it won’t work out, and then her kids could get hurt. Her sons have a dad that only has an interest in them when it’s a holiday and he can try to make them all think he is a good dad. That’s not quite fair. He’s also interested when being their dad could mean he doesn’t have to pay child support. And her daughter has literally never met her father, and they didn’t even know where he was until the state found him earlier this year, after 13 years of being in hiding in the wilds of Nebraska. I really don’t want to risk her daughter getting attached to a father figure and then we don’t work out.

Now, she wanted the 2 of us to remain friends and then consider dating when she graduates. But there are a couple of problems with that plan. First, I really don’t want to be “just friends” and I am not going to pretend I do. And I honestly believe that she will meet a guy that lives much closer and is also willing to get involved with the kids. While I think that’s a bad idea, it’s not my call. And I am certainly not going to wait around as a friend until I get the “I have bad news” call.

The other thing is less news than an observation.

Following the lead of Ask a Pothead I decided to see who on MySpace might be interested in Scary Personals. I had an old profile I had literally never done anything with, so I tweaked it a little and used it to get some attention. It has worked pretty well too. As you know MySpace is the place with the loosest definition of “friend” on the planet. When I get bored I’ll sometimes request random people add me as a friend and then they get the little notices when I post the day’s pic.

Now, I have a weird group of “friends”. Of course there are the bands that you have never heard of them try to use MySpace to build a following. And there are the various porn girls who use it to drive guys to their site. I have seemingly normal people as well. I even have a couple of real life friends.

But there is one group that is seriously overrepresented on MySpace, and I swear some of them will make you want to pull your hair out. These are the teenaged girls. Since I don’t have any porn on Scary Personals, and teenage girls tell everyone everything, they make a really good “friend”. If they like the site they will email 50,000 people and you will have more readers than you know what to do with. And really all you have to do is put up with faux-nihilism and sparkly pink unicorns.

But there is a certain subgroup in this bunch, and they are the problem. These are people that take MySpace way too fucking seriously. I first noticed them when they’d post bulletins about how all these people were fake friends. Of course they are fucking fake friends. They see a small 1x1 picture of you and then click a box saying, “be my friend”. Last time I checked friendship took a little more than that. You kind of need to get to know someone, maybe actually talk to them. Hell, I think a friendship has to be tested before you can be sure about it.

That wasn’t really that big a deal though. If they whine too much and sent endless bulletins I delete them. But there are a few that message me directly. For the most part they just want to say they like the blog. Some think my son is cute. But one in particular was kinda scary. See, she messaged to tell me I needed to change my profile page to attract more friends. I don’t put much work on it and told her that, but that wasn’t what she meant.

If you read the profile, it says I am an asshole who makes fun of people for fun of profit. Well, shit, if you were the Campus Crusade Fr Christ guy with the hot dogs that I made wiener and sausage jokes about, I bet you would think I was an asshole. You may not say it out loud because it’s not very Christian, but you’d think it. So she decided I am not worthy of being her MySpace friend because she doesn’t want any assholes.

I guess they don’t teach satire and sarcasm in schools these days.


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Have you ever noticed that when they have movies with polygamists the wives are always hot? I have a theory about that. The only way to make the story believable to Americans is if the women are hot. I understand that people understand a guy cheating on his wife, and will even believe that he’ll cheat with anything that is offered to him. Hell, every guy I’ve ever known who was a cheat was cheating with a woman less attractive than his wife or girlfriend. Well, maybe not every one of them, but most of them anyway.

But every guy I know says the same thing when it comes to multiple wives: “No way in hell.” In their mind it’s several women complaining, having periods and wanting kids. Plus, there is the idea that the women will always be fighting with each other, so there is constant tension. In a guy’s mind these things far outweigh the idea of having multiple sex partners.

So the people that have made the handful of movies where there is polygamy have to use only hot women. Unless they can get the guys to say to themselves, “Yeah, if my wives could all look like that I could go for it.” they lose half the potential audience. Hell, I remember this movie about Brigham Young that was black and white and all the wives were just smoking hot, even if they dressed like they were Amish. Of course, they do tend to only hire attractive women for movies. But you would think an unattractive woman would slip through every now and then in the casts.

I have no idea what would work to get women to accept it.

Now, on with our regular programming.

I guess I made a bad assumption about that ex. I did hear from her briefly today, and am supposed to hear more when she gets off work. It seems she is going through some sort of drama with an ex-boyfriend. Add in the fact she has been very sick, and I actually understand. But it kind of reminds me of the whole deal with exes. Like it or not, eventually exes always equal drama.

And in her case, she has made shitty choices. I swear that one reason she and I connect so much is that we have both had some of the worst relationships. We always choose the wrong people. She’s had liars, cheaters, abusers and every sort of lowlife imaginable. That is why many times her exes are like mine: they go away they just don’t always stay away. Unfortunately for her she also lives in a small town so staying away is even harder. And since everyone knows everyone they are always keeping each other abreast of any happenings. (God, this sounds so hick.)

Her situation totally shows the deal with problem exes. If you are in contact with them and they are the least bit shitty eventually something you do will set them off. In a situation like hers, she really has to worry about someone getting triggered because the people around her say something to someone who says something, and the next thing you know she has some asshole making her miserable.

That kind of gets me to something that has been on my mind. Her situation reminds me of a place I was once. I had ‘friends” around me who liked to do things that made me miserable. Some were well meaning and others were just shitheads. These people liked creating drama. Hell, some of them still try, and I don’t have anything to do with them anymore.
Sometimes you have to look at the problems you are going through and see how many of them are because of the people you choose to have around you. Look at what she has to deal with. Because her friends are friends with her exes, or even friends with friends of her exes, she gets to deal with bullshit that would be avoidable if some people could just keep their fucking mouths shut. And what about the guy she met that ended up being married? Is there anyone that realizes that someone she knew had to know he was married?

I look at some situations and think there is a time when you stop trying to fix a mess and instead you just get the fuck out of Dodge. I know I did it and, seriously, I feel a lot better than I did. I kept a couple of real friends, and got away from the “group”. I think she is in the same place really. And I think her life will keep repeating the same cycle until she realizes that.

Oh, and on another note, the best way to get a shitty rating at Blog Mad is to start with a good one. It seems some users have figured out how to tweak the code they get so people can vote on their blogs so they can go in and vote for blogs ranked above theirs. Hit the top spot and within 24 hours your rank will plummet. If you want to rank this blog, just click here. If you want to rank Scary Personals, just click on the VARB link on the right of its page.


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Damn. Sometimes you see somebody doing something and you just have to fight the urge to get in their face and give them a wake-up call.

No, I am not talking about an ex, a friend or a potential date. This was just one of those cases where you see someone making a total fool out of themselves. Naturally it was a guy, and naturally it was over a woman. For some reason when guys get involved with a girl their minds can shut down and they lose all perspective. This guy definitely qualified.

I was sitting at dinner with my son. He has a thing for hamburgers so we were sitting there eating our burgers and fries minding our own business. Now, they must have been between shifts because there were easily twice as many employees as customers. And I guess the managers figured all that staff meant they could let some things slide. In this case the main thing they were letting slide was the guy on the register talking on the phone to his girlfriend.

OK, talking isn’t accurate. What they were doing was arguing. I couldn’t really tell what they were arguing about because, to be honest, this guy didn’t make a lot of sense. He was really mad though, whatever it was. I know it started over money, but it really got to be one of those arguments where it’s pretty clear the fight is because these 2 people do not get along. Sometimes it’s just best to let bad relationships go. Clearly she had this figured out. He hadn’t gotten to that point.

So, as they argued she hung up on him. He did what guys always do: he called her back. So the argument started all over again, but it got to the point where she was telling him the relationship was over. Now, I didn’t hear what she said, but based on his reaction she wasn’t just coming out and saying, “We’re through.” Keep in mind ladies, you really need to just say what you mean because guys don’t handle subtle well, and handle subtle even worse when they’re upset.

What ended up happening was this guy says to her, “All you have to do is say so and I’ll leave you alone.”

She hung up on him.

OK, so he called back again. He let the phone ring for a long time, and wouldn’t have stopped except they got a call from someone placing an order, so he had to take care of that. I am guessing the beeping in his ear was the driving force and not his responsibilities as an employee. So he took the order, entered it in the computer and called her again. She still didn’t answer, and he still let it ring.

So, if you are reading this dude, I have a message. Hanging up is the equivalent of saying good-bye, except it is like adding asshole at the end.

On another note, I explained something in the forum and I guess I should say it here.

Someone asked if it was fair for me to say I wouldn’t date a woman who is friends with her exes when I am still talking to an ex. But there are a few very serious differences. First, I am not dating anyone right now. If I were I would not be talking to her. I don’t play that kind of game. Second, I am not pretending to be her friend so I can get close to her. She knows where I stand. In fact, it’s an all or nothing deal. Either we are a couple or we don’t talk. I can’t just be her friend. Even the times I have been a friend of a woman I was attracted to I was always very up-front about what I wanted. If I am interested in a “friend” I make sure she is aware of it.

Also, the woman in question has known for some time that I do not keep women that I have an interest in as friends when I am in a relationship. It’s not fair to either your girlfriend or the “other woman”. It can cause too much trouble and all sorts of confusion. And if you aren’t over someone you are not going to get over them if they are a constant presence in your life. You will not only want them, you will never stop feeling the pain or the sense of loss. It’s just less complicated. My life gets complicated enough without that kind of potential train wreck.

Besides, that’s way too many people to have to talk to on the phone. I hate phones.


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dating, relationships, men, women, communication

See, all the shit over my rules made me deal with that mess when I had better things to write about. Shame on you all.

First, I was looking at Classmates.com because I lost one email address and every now and then I check it to see if the person has signed up. Didn’t have any luck, as I am sure this person feels about as much fondness for our hometown as I feel. Of course, she also has one stalker I know of, so unless that situation gets straightened out, she is unlikely to pop-up there, and I don’t blame her. Unfortunately she also keeps a better low Internet profile than anyone I have ever known. This is what happens when you move and have to get a new email address.

But as I looked I noticed a familiar name. It was the first crazy chick I ever dated. I have written about her before. She is the one who dated me and another guy at the same time. Her friends wanted her to date him, because they went to the same school, so she did. Then she dumped him to go out with me. But she also wanted a bad boy and while her mother hated me, her dad loved me, so I was bad for her rebellion. So she dumped me for a guy her parents hated. She then came back to me and dumped a second bad buy (this time one with a criminal record) to go out with me, but I let her know I was not interested if things were going to be the same, and she didn’t like me showing any backbone.

Now, her joining Classmates is not that big a deal. But I checked her profile out of curiosity (which is because I am stupid) and the bitch (and that is an accurate term) and her husband now live on the Dallas side of the metroplex. Jesus, I move 1000 miles from home and end up 50 miles from the original crazy chick. And here I was considering moving to Dallas. That now seems like tempting fate just a little too much. I say this because I have always had amazing luck at ending up in the same place as people I know. The last time she and I ended up in the same bar her date followed me on to the bathroom. I think he was really tempted to say something until my brother (former Marine and current cop) and cousin (6’ 6” 270) walked in. (Keep in mind this was probably 10 years ago.)

But that was not all. No, I happened to notice another ex was online and dropped her a line. In the course of our conversations I mentioned that the last time we spoke she had given me some really shocking news that turned out to be false. Well, you see, this ex also happened to know a different ex. (This is a good reason to limit women you get involved with to one per social group.) And this different ex had a great idea. She made up the story, which involved yet another ex, and told the second ex to pretend to message me by mistake and tell me. She couldn’t message me herself because I have her blocked 12 ways to Sunday. Now, maybe it’s just me, but when someone has stayed away from you for over a year, and you go out of your way to do something like that, you really need to get some new medication.

Then, as I pondered the reply to the Rules comments, the ex that left me sitting at home all night while she got drunk and generally dicked me around messaged me. As I have said before, I had to wait for her to contact me. I knew this would happen, I just don’t know what it means. Even as we talked she had moments where she seemed to want to keep living the life of a single woman, which just doesn’t work for me. I may not be looking to get married right away, but I’m also not looking to relive my college days. Having a girlfriend who spends nights getting tanked while guys buy her drinks and hit on her is not my idea of fun. And she has one of those friends that I have no desire to deal with. In short, if she wants us to be together, she has to make some changes, and she has to make that decision.

Of course, as is the norm with her, she got in touch with me because of another bad dating experience. The last 2 experiences have been doozies. The first was a guy that was divorcing his wife, and supposedly just waiting for the hearing. Of course, had she followed my rules she would have waited herself, and not been hurt when he and his wife reconciled “for the kids”. The last one borrowed a ton of cash from her and, when she called him because she was in jail on a traffic warrant (half of Texas has outstanding traffic warrants), he said he’d be there with bail money. While he has called her since then, she has not seen him. She has also never seen the money she lent him or any sign of and bail money. This time she was a little bit lucky in that the disaster happened before they had ever gone out. It did not, however, happen before his wife called her, having discovered her phone number. Yes, a guy had pretended to be single when he was actually married.

So why did she message me? It’s simple. When she and I were together there weren’t any games. Since her luck is normally as good as mine.

Now I know you are wondering which of my rules she violates. Well, she’s an ex-stripper. In the past her ex and her mother controlled her life, but it appears that is under control. Her kids have a habit of being nightmares at times, although they were never really bad around me (just whiney).

And that’s where we left it. I haven’t heard from her at all today, so I am betting she decided not to make the changes I’d need, and that I’m not worth it (again). That is until she has some other guy fuck her over.

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women, relationships, exes, crazy women, games

I knew that my rules would seem crazy, but what the hell. First off, most of you haven’t read the stories that are the basis of the rules. If you had you’d know why they exist. Frankly I don’t think most of you read them all. You saw how many there were and said it was too many.

But look at the basics of the rules

1. Strippers and their like can’t be trusted

Even friends I have that love strippers and date them will tell you that the number you can trust are so small that it’s best just to assume none of them can be trusted. They tend to either be hustlers or desperate for attention. Neither of those things is a recipe for a healthy relationship if you are going to be a good guy.

1. Women who are constantly seeking attention from guys can’t be trusted

If a woman (or I assume a man) constantly needs approval from the other sex, just being in a relationship isn’t going to change that. If your sense of self-worth is that dependant on others, no single person can stroke your ego enough. It takes more than one guy, and there will be times you will do things to get that attention that will hurt your boyfriend. I see no reason to go in to a relationship where I know I’ll get hurt repeatedly.

1. Criminals and drug addicts can’t be trusted

I shouldn’t have to explain this one

1. You can tell a lot about people by who their friends are

The old saying may be that birds of a feather flock together,  but sometimes old sayings stick around because they are true. If you hang around with shitty people you are condoning their behavior. I am really just referring to close friends here. If your best friend is shit, it’s going to take a lot to convince me that you truly have a problem with what they do. And if you don’t have a problem with it, you are not going to convince me you won’t act the same way.

There are 2 sets of rules I can see some grounds for disagreement with.

1. I do not believe guys are friends with women they don’t want something from

I have seen this far too often to think that I am wrong. I have seen guys wait literally years before they finally admitted what they really want. In one case I saw it take over 10 years. The fact is, guys do not like being around unattractive women. That is a shitty thing to say, but it’s true. They will tolerate it IF it means they are getting something else they want, which usually involves hot friends. Men think with or on behalf of their dicks the majority of the time.

Plus, guys are territorial. A guy that has a friend he has accepted is not going to be more will still fuck up the relationship. Guys will view a female friend as their territory. As long as the other guys are not a threat to that claim, he is fine. As soon as one assumes a role that puts his perceived claim in danger, he will use his position as a friend to shoot down the other guy. They will take little pot shots. They will get real needy. They will try to turn dates in to group outings. They will be on the girl’s arm non-stop when they are together.

1. I don’t think it’s acceptable to act single when you aren’t

Sorry, but taking a drink from a guy at a bar sends a message to him that you are interested. A guy may say it means nothing, but he is lying. In my life I have bought drinks just once when I was not interested, and that is because a girl so totally reamed a guy I was laughing for half an hour.

And, frankly, I do not know many straight guys who dance with women they don’t want to fuck. There is a reason their hands keep ending up on your hips. Guys touch you because they want you. We do not go around touching women we don’t want. And guys assume that you letting them touch you means something. I do not care what you intentions are. If you knowingly send a signal to a guy that you are interested when you are in a relationship you are treating your boyfriend like shit.

Folks, here are the facts. Every rule I have is based on actual experiences, and observed odds of certain results of possible behaviors. Basically, any relationship is a risk, but there are certain things that have a better than even chance of resulting in getting hurt. If a person doing something has a better than even chance of indicating things won’t work out, why take the chance? I would rather be in a relationship than be alone, but I would rather be alone than be heartbroken.

Seriously, if you have not read the first 2-3 months of posts, you really don’t know. And every one of the behaviors in the rules, if set alone, has been named by the people that read this blog as a sign of trouble. But when they are aggregated, it is overwhelming, because there are so many signs of trouble. But in reality the list is, if anything, incomplete.

Oh, and tits are no place for tattoos. They