Scared Bunny

Where the hell have I been? I know you are wondering that very serious question. I mean, hell, here you are reading this blog but you haven’t had anything good to read for months. I can tell you; it’s not that there has been a lack of subject matter. In fact, there are so many stories just waiting to be told, and I will get to them all. But to tell them all takes time, and I haven’t had the time.

First, there is that special lady in my life. We were married in October. That, of course, gave me a lot more excitement than writing. Heck, I am writing right now because when I give her something to read she gets excited and then we go do those other things that have kept me so busy. I actually have been writing somewhat regularly. It has all been for her though, and only she gets to decide who gets to read it. That kind of sucks for you.

And with my lovely bride comes two wonderful children. They also are very good at keeping me busy. In addition to all the regular things, like sports and school, both are fond of farting. I spend hours every day running away from them. This has been good for my weight, but a little hard on my knees and my nose. Add in my own son, and you have got a serious need for both track shoes and gas masks.

Then, since there just wasn’t enough change in my life, I took a job with a different bank. Basically they will give me a shitload more money, far fewer morons to deal with and the opportunity to actually not be embarrassed by the name of my employer. In exchange I have more work and actually have to go in to an office almost every day. Plus, of course, I have to drive there and back, so I went from a commute that took the 30-seconds it takes to go from bed to the den, to a 45-minute drive dealing with what appear to be the graduates of the first driving school especially for special-ed students. I also have to actually wear something besides jeans and a t-shirt, which I hate but my wife likes.

Finally, because I am truly insane, we also moved in to a bigger house. The bigger house part isn’t crazy. I mean, hell, more people need more room. But moving is something only to be done by those with severe mental instability. It seems that, despite living alone, I had a lot of shit. We actually haven’t had to get much new stuff to fill the house even though it has more rooms and almost 50% more space. All of that had to be loaded in a truck, mostly by my new brother-in-law and myself. And there are so many boxes… I have actually developed a fear of cardboard. My garage is a truly terrifying place, resembling the aisles of Wal Mart the day after Thanksgiving. And since the good people of the City of Fort Worth have decreed how much, or shall I say how little, trash a family is allowed to dispose of, we see little change in this situation as probable for several weeks.

So, short of changing my religion and ethnicity, I think I have changed as much as possible in a 3-month period. All of that change takes a lot of work. And when I’m not working I am usually either resting or trying to get my wife to make funny noises. I particularly enjoy the time we spend making funny noises. I have to say that I would rather be making funny noises than writing for your benefit.

But I will be writing again. Scary Personals will return with a bang. The cult will explore numerous revelations and philosophical issues. And I will tell you how the $21 I spent to wire $1 to Georgia was the best money I ever spent. Additionally, we will explore serious relationship issues, such as why it is a bad idea to get regnant by your sister’s husband, and an even worse idea to then take him back.

So be sure to keep checking in. There will be some great stories. Unless I’m too busy getting laid.