Scared Bunny

Sometimes people piss me off. OK, they do it a lot, but this is one specific thing. It has to do with people who let other people walk all over them.

People will sit there and take endless shit from someone and talk about how mad they are at that person for what they do. They will complain about how that person treats them unfair. They will bitch about how that person uses them. They will moan about how they are being taken advantage of.

But if you look at every one of those situations, it happens because they allow it to happen. If someone steals from you, they are responsible. But if someone borrows from you and doesn’t pay it back, you have to accept some of the responsibility.

It drives me nuts that people will have people in their life that consistently fuck them over, and they just allow it to happen. I understand it if you have no idea what a person is like, but when you know they are more likely to screw you than to help you, why do you keep letting them do it?

Now, if you have read the blog from the beginning, you know I have been taken advantage of. I have dated some of the craziest, most manipulative women in the DFW metroplex. I have been lied to, stolen from, set up and abused. But you also know that all of those situations have one thing in common: me. I have had some very sympathetic people, and I appreciate their sympathy, but the fact is it was primarily misplaced.

When I was dating a woman who had me so scared of her anger that I lost 40 pounds in 3 months, and truly had an eating disorder, I have to accept that I let that happen. When she stole from me, it was money I let her take. And when she set me up, I put myself in a position for that to happen. When another lied to me for several months I let her keep lying long after I knew the truth. And when I stayed up all night waiting for someone who wasn’t ever going to show, it’s because I chose to stay up.

In none of those situations was I forced to do anything. There was no real threat on their part (well, none I couldn’t have handled). I was taken advantage of, but only because I let myself be taken advantage of. The aftermath of all of those decisions was rough, but it was all a problem I had to deal with because of situations I allowed to happen. It would be very hypocritical of me to harbor anger towards them and try to blame them for what happened, because it was avoidable on my end.

But the other thing that I feel shows that you can’t blame others for screwing you over most of the time is that those decisions impact those around you. If something that happens adversely affects my friends or family, I can’t blame the party that wronged me, because they have no responsibility to my friends and family. Only I am responsible for what happens to them. And I let them get hurt. That makes me an asshole, not the person that hurt me.

But people will sit there and let someone’s bullshit not only affect them, but affect those around them. If you want to let someone treat you like shit, that is your right. But if I am involved, don’t expect me to let their bullshit affect me. When that happens one of two things is going to happen. If I have the opportunity I am going to tell them to fuck off. See, I don’t let people treat me like shit anymore. So I am not going to just sit there and let the shit splash up on me like nothing was going on. The other option is that I cut you out of my life. I really don’t need to deal with a person who isn’t in control of their own life. And I also don’t want a friend of any kind who is going to let their “friends” or family fuck up my life.

Tell me I'm full of shit in the forums.