And this is WITHOUT drugs
Sunday, June 11, 2006
I went to get my hair cut today. Not that I really wanted to. Yes it was long and getting curly on the ends, but I really was enjoying having longer hair. I liked having to sometimes brush it out of my face. I liked shaking my head and having it actually move. I liked that I knew if my boss saw it he’d be pissed. But, unfortunately, certain events in my professional life made a haircut a prudent choice, so off I went.
On the way I started thinking about the ex. You know the one. She’s the one that was totally in love with me but, unfortunately for me, I wasn’t ready for a commitment so we broke up. Since then I got more together, and we have given it a go a couple of times, but in each of those instances she did something that seemed more like revenge than reconciliation. And, while I really want to be with her, I know I can’t. But the reason makes me feel like a total dick.
It’s her kids.
She has 3 kids; 2 boys and a girl. Now, for her, the girl is the problem. She’s barely a teenager and seems to want to act about 25. She’s had the fake run away from home a couple of times, and I am sure I haven’t heard half of it. But I never had any problem with her. She was always very respectful with me and did what I asked, even though she drove her mom nuts. Perhaps that’s because she never knew her dad and it made her want to please me.
But the boys were more than I could handle. One whined constantly. In the course of a typical day he would cry at least 10 times. Since he is older than my son, I’d say it’s safe for me to say he really is too old to still cry that much. In short, he really has some problems.
The other one was the baby and he really liked that role. He made it a point to act younger than he was most of the time, and his development in certain areas had suffered. With an older brother whining all the time he would sometimes try to out whine him. Makes sense. If you see yourself as the baby, you won’t much care for someone out babying you. At other times he would do as most kids and try things beyond his age range. But, being babied all the time, he was a little under developed in some ways, so he was really prone to accidents. This, of course, would result in situation usually ending in crying. And, since his crying would mean he was the one getting the attention his older brother would get jealous and find a reason to be extremely upset.
Now, I know it makes me sound like a total asshole that I can’t handle those two, but I really can’t. Maybe I’m spoiled because I have the kind of kid who is much easier to deal with. Maybe I am just high strung so things like that set me off. Whatever the deal is, I have to be honest with myself that they are more than I can handle. And when you are involved with a single-mom, especially one whose ex basically ignores his sons, if you get serious the kids are part of the package.
So here I am, driving down the road, pining for a woman that I know it will never work with. That is some really stupid shit when you think about it. It is a hard lesson to learn, but being upset about something that cannot change is moronic. It’s easy to keep thinking about things you can’t change, but that won’t change them, so I guess thinking about them is pointless.
So for now I will just have to wait for someone new. At least I keep having really wild dreams. I mean, shit, they are so out of control I could never write them down because I can’t even keep the story straight. All I can say is that there is a shitload of sex in them lately. Possibly because I will not be getting any for a while.
Tell me about your dirty dreams in the forums.
On the way I started thinking about the ex. You know the one. She’s the one that was totally in love with me but, unfortunately for me, I wasn’t ready for a commitment so we broke up. Since then I got more together, and we have given it a go a couple of times, but in each of those instances she did something that seemed more like revenge than reconciliation. And, while I really want to be with her, I know I can’t. But the reason makes me feel like a total dick.
It’s her kids.
She has 3 kids; 2 boys and a girl. Now, for her, the girl is the problem. She’s barely a teenager and seems to want to act about 25. She’s had the fake run away from home a couple of times, and I am sure I haven’t heard half of it. But I never had any problem with her. She was always very respectful with me and did what I asked, even though she drove her mom nuts. Perhaps that’s because she never knew her dad and it made her want to please me.
But the boys were more than I could handle. One whined constantly. In the course of a typical day he would cry at least 10 times. Since he is older than my son, I’d say it’s safe for me to say he really is too old to still cry that much. In short, he really has some problems.
The other one was the baby and he really liked that role. He made it a point to act younger than he was most of the time, and his development in certain areas had suffered. With an older brother whining all the time he would sometimes try to out whine him. Makes sense. If you see yourself as the baby, you won’t much care for someone out babying you. At other times he would do as most kids and try things beyond his age range. But, being babied all the time, he was a little under developed in some ways, so he was really prone to accidents. This, of course, would result in situation usually ending in crying. And, since his crying would mean he was the one getting the attention his older brother would get jealous and find a reason to be extremely upset.
Now, I know it makes me sound like a total asshole that I can’t handle those two, but I really can’t. Maybe I’m spoiled because I have the kind of kid who is much easier to deal with. Maybe I am just high strung so things like that set me off. Whatever the deal is, I have to be honest with myself that they are more than I can handle. And when you are involved with a single-mom, especially one whose ex basically ignores his sons, if you get serious the kids are part of the package.
So here I am, driving down the road, pining for a woman that I know it will never work with. That is some really stupid shit when you think about it. It is a hard lesson to learn, but being upset about something that cannot change is moronic. It’s easy to keep thinking about things you can’t change, but that won’t change them, so I guess thinking about them is pointless.
So for now I will just have to wait for someone new. At least I keep having really wild dreams. I mean, shit, they are so out of control I could never write them down because I can’t even keep the story straight. All I can say is that there is a shitload of sex in them lately. Possibly because I will not be getting any for a while.
Tell me about your dirty dreams in the forums.
posted by R. U. Serious at 6/11/2006 01:49:00 AM
I'm R. U. Serious
From United States
I have nothing to say. I plead the 5th.
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