Scared Bunny

OK, I misjudged her.

No, she’s not crazy. She just has a little problem with the truth. In this case she told me she wasn’t seeing anyone when she was. But I guess that wasn’t enough deception. No, she had to add that she went on a date. (Hint, if you intentionally don’t mention something because it would cause problems with a prior lie, that counts as a second lie.)

The thing is, it’s not that she is seeing someone else. It’s not that she went on a date. We don’t have anything remotely resembling a relationship, and she doesn’t owe me much. But she owes me honesty. If she didn’t want to answer the question, she didn’t have to. Of course the only reason I even asked it is because she brought it up. I wasn’t going to even go there because I didn’t think it was my business so soon.

But once the whole thing happens, and she admits she lied, what exactly are you going to do? I mean, hell, here we are 2 days after first talking and we already have lies. If you can’t be honest now, when there’s nothing at risk, are you going to be able to be honest later on?  With my track record, I just can’t take that chance. If I had been less “forgiving” I wouldn’t have been through as much shit the last few years.

But, as is the norm, the story isn’t over. See, after a few minutes of thinking I made a change to my status message. It normally just says available. Lately I’ve changed it when I was sleeping, or when I think about the effort to save the Kronk Gym. But I decided an appropriate message would be “fuck it”. It really fit the mood. On one hand I was disappointed and hurt by what had happened, so anything with “fuck” is good. On the other, “fuck it” is a good way to put things behind you and move on.

This however caused an unexpected reaction. See, I expect friends to notice and ask what’s up. I hadn’t counted on the same ex that just last week treated me like shit messaging me. So here she wants to find out what is going on, and I am really not wanting to talk to her. But, I would also rather it not become a scene, which is exactly what would happen if I pretended she wasn’t there. So I told her that “fuck it” referred to all sorts of things and left it at that. One or 2 word answers usually get people to go away faster than if you ignore them.

Unfortunately, she then got back online tonight and wanted to know if I hated her. Again, the one-word answers are the way to go, and she did say goodnight.

But then the girl that this started with wanted to talk and I felt that one required an actual conversation. In short, I think we both understand that if there was a chance, it’s gone now.

So now I am tired of people in general, and desperately in need of sleep. So I will set my status message to zzzzzzzzzzzzzz and hit the hay.

Fuck it.

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