Scared Bunny

I am writing this at 2AM. Why am I up at 2AM you ask? It’s not any sort of good reason. Basically I have some little goal I set for myself and I have to be up for about another hour to accomplish it. I have to be somewhat evasive because if I’m not someone might keep it from happening. I try hard not to be paranoid, but there are some fucking twisted people lately. I swear some of them know when I shit before the first splash.

First, I have to tell you I had about the most fucked up dream I think I have ever had. Let me preface this by saying that, this time, I have no idea why the fuck I had this dream. Usually there is some kind of trigger, like something on TV or a conversation or something. This time, not a clue.

In the dream, I was somehow a close friend of the Pope. Now, I don’t mean the current Pope. I was a friend of the last Pope. In my dream he hadn’t died. Instead he had retired, and was a Cardinal again. So Here I am with the old Pope, the new Pope and some assistants. And we are traveling. But where, you ask, are we going? I was taking them all to the church my parents took me to as a kid. The Pope was visiting a Baptist church.

As we were driving up to the church, the old Pope had a request. Before we went in he wanted a hug and a kiss on the forehead. Yeah, it seemed as creepy in the dream as it seems when I wrote it. He was really making me uncomfortable. He didn’t do anything bad, but I will say that old man skin from the kiss on his forehead was really creepy to me. And he really did hold the hug too long.

He also had this really elaborate crucifix that he was offering to some young priest. But the priest had a crucifix, so he didn’t take it. Then my feelings were really hurt because I felt like the old Pope should offer me the crucifix. I think he could sense it and rather than hold on to this old crucifix he had no use for, he did finally give it to me.

So we get to the church, and we go in the back door. But after I escorted the old Pope in I went back outside for a second to make sure the new Pope made it in OK. I saw he was talking to someone, went back inside, and the old Pope had just disappeared. I walked around a while looking for him, but I didn’t have any luck. I did, however, find people I knew heading in to a Sunday School class, so I went in with them. They didn’t approve of me, though, because now I didn’t have my shirt on anymore. Needless to say this was a very uncomfortable situation.

Yeah, it’s weird.

I have fewer weird dreams lately. I have been sleeping on the couch. I think I sleep better on the couch. I am kind of forced to sleep on my side, which is supposed to be good for some people with sleep apnea. In my nice, big soft bed, I end up sleeping on my back, which is the worst way for someone with sleep apnea to sleep. So, except when I need the alarm clock I have been sleeping out in the den. So I can’t guarantee as many fucked up dreams. Yes, the dream came from a night on the couch, but usually I have a shitload more dreams than I have been having.

OK, so it’s not night anymore. I finished the chore and then, when debating if I should sleep or not, was given wise advice from Australia: “If you are trying to decide something like that, you probably need sleep.” So, yes, I slept. And I didn’t post this because I was just fucking tired. Yes, I slept, and yes, I dreamt. I don’t recall the dream but I do know my parents were there, my dad had a car wreck (because he is a lousy driver), my son was there and my friend Justin used my last razor blade so I had to shave with a dull razor. The fucker.

I am also exhausted because the dog woke me up during a dream, which is really bad. I understand he needed to pee, but he should have waited. Damn dog. I am mainlining coffee. Of course I do that anyway.

I could update the whole dating thing, but I’ll wait. Maybe by then something will happen.