Scared Bunny

If you ever decide to open a place that specializes in children’s parties, there are a couple of really basic things to do. First, it is a good idea to hire cute girls to catch the father’s eyes. The fathers really do get kind of bored because the kids are busy playing and a party full of married women can get really boring. Second, said cute girls really do need to like kids. All I can say is that while the people we saw today understand rule one, they seemed to have a problem grasping rule 2. Damn that girl seemed to really hate kids. Now, while I pretty much like just my son, these kids weren’t brats by any means. Hell, the problem kids from the school were all somewhere else today. If they had been there I am pretty sure she would have killed at least one of them. I am not saying this as a bad thing. I think it would have upset their parents though.

Yes, I was at another kid’s birthday party. This time at least it wasn’t Up-Chuck E. Cheese. This place has 2 giant rooms with those inflatable toys you see at church carnivals. So, basically, the kids run and jump for about an hour, they land on each other, someone cries and then they all get mad when it’s over. And I, of course, first prayed my son would have fun, then that there would be at least one single MILF there. There wasn’t. I hate to say it, but my son’s friends do not have hot moms. It always seems like the hot moms are at the other parties. Plus, these are all church types, and I probably am not exactly what they are used to. I was definitely the only father with highlights in his hair. I am a lot less likely to refer to something as “my ministry” except in jest. I also do not call things a “blessing” very often.

My ex and I have an agreement. We both make sure my son has a good moral grounding. She handles religious instruction and I make sure he doesn’t grow up as sheltered as his mom did. Hell, she’s still sheltered. I get the feeling most of the women that have kids in the church school my son goes to. The few that might not mind probably also want a husband, and that is not me. I was thinking about that today watching all these couples. I have no desire to get married because I am having more fun single.

Speaking of fun single, I came to a serious revelation. There was another of those many events where they have women go up and act slutty for the entertainment of guys. The chicks have to get drunk to do it, which they did. But let me say I am not speaking out of sympathy for the women. To me, if you want to have people whistle and treat you like a slut, you get what you deserve. However, I realized something looking at the pictures of these women. I am not saying they weren’t attractive, because a couple of them were. But I was glad I didn’t go to the event. It occurred to me that women I would drive for an hour to see act slutty in a room full of morons must be much hotter than women I would drive for an hour to see in a room full of morons, only to take them home and bang them after. When I pointed out that I wasn’t impressed, I was told I was full of shit. Specifically, I was told, “Don’t tell me you wouldn’t fuck them.” And, I would have fucked many of them. But it’s not like that was a possibility.

That is one thing I really don’t get about guys. Guys will put up with a lot of shit if they get to see women. Maybe it’s the same thing I don’t get about guys that watch a shitload of porn. Sex that doesn’t involve me doesn’t keep my attention, and the same goes for women I won’t nail. I don’t buy the fantasy I guess. Plus, if it’s just fantasy, why go somewhere. You can fantasize anywhere. Hell, you can do it without leaving the house. But hold an event and promise them there will be hot women there, and guys will fight just to get there.

Of course I also don’t get what it is about acting slutty that makes a woman more attractive to a guy. I have a theory involving a secret desire common to men to develop nasty rashes and genital warts, but it’s just a theory. I can say from experience that acting like a slut doesn’t mean you are more likely to get good sex. I will agree that many slutty women are actually sluts, so that may mean getting sex is more likely, but the quality isn’t always there. Of course, most guys don’t seem to care as long as they get off.

It’s like the old joke: What was the best blowjob you ever had? The last one. I know guys that believe there is no such thing as a bad blowjob but that is most certainly not true. Putting aside the fact that a truly bad blowjob can actually hurt, it is possible to suck at blowing without doing physical damage. But some guys seem to think that as long as it is wet and open, it’s all good. I never understood why those guys even bother with women. It seems to me they could do just as good with chuck steak. It would not only be easier to get, in general it is a shitload cheaper.

Of course, if that caught on you’d have guys buying more meat than they really need. Grocers would start marketing steak that is “ribbed for your pleasure”. Rich guys would brag about how they only use fillet. Women would look funny at you if you had a lof of beef in your cart. And “boneless” would have a completely different meaning.