Scared Bunny

I swear I am going to have to quit my job.

First, I have to keep this blog going. I haven’t been pimping it near as much as I used to, so the days of up to 1,500 hits are gone, but I haven’t put any less effort in to writing it. And, even with these little entries, it’s not always easy. Some nights the words just don’t flow. Now that I am not writing about as many dating nightmares, it’s harder. It’s a lot easier to tell a story than it is to make up some of this wild shit.

Then there is my plan for another blog: Who’s To Say. For those who have forgotten, or those who just never read about it, back in school I was decreed the person “Who’s to say”. Basically, what that means is, I am the guy to settle arguments when it gets down to the parties being stuck on “Who’s to say…” An example would be, two friends are arguing about whether it’s cheating if you accidentally bang your girlfriend’s twin sister. Since they can’t decide, one of them says, “Who’s to say he should be able to tell the difference between the sisters’ naked bodies?” I would be the one to say.

And now we have this whole cult, which probably does need it’s own website, as a loyal reader pointed out. Obviously we would need to explain what we believe, first and foremost. To do that, of course, we have to know what we believe, which is still somewhat up in the air. I haven’t really decided if I am sticking with the deity living under the guest bathroom sink, or if we need a different God. I do know we need to believe something though. We would also need to have some of the rules listed there, but not too many. And the rules are always in a state of flux; so keeping that updated would be a real pain in the ass. The site would also need a way to make donations, as well as to buy religious artifacts, like thongs.

And let’s not forget the book plans. I’ve got several books I want to write. There’s the compilation of my dating adventures. There’s a dating advice book. There’s some other stuff I never mentioned here that is far too dark for this site.

Plus I have my career as an artist. If I am going to become the foremost Jell-O artist, then I have a lot of planning to do. There’s the kids, the sponsors, the grants…

And now I have a production company to run.

Yeah, I’m gonna have to quit my job. Of course that means that you guys are going to have to start buying a shitload more merchandise. If you consider the fact I make like 25 cents per item, I think that everyone needs to consider the possibility that all of their clothes need to have the appropriate logo, if you catch my drift. Those of you with kids also may wish to consider dressing your child in some new clothes. Finally, it’s never too soon to start Christmas shopping.

I am willing to make this sacrifice though. I recognize that it’s not easy being a renaissance man. It’s not easy to be a religious icon. It’s not easy to con thousands of people it to giving you almost all their money so you can live a life of luxury. But I am up to it.

I do have a confession to make though. I have been really tempted to call an ex and see if she wants to hook up. I know I shouldn’t, but damn I miss the sex. I really miss sex.

I was browsing the net and saw a pic of a girl that looked almost exactly like this girl. That got me thinking about things, and once my mind starts going, it really gets going. As I have said, I am dangerous when I get bored. I think even more so when I get bored and horny. Given that work has been kind of slow I have been spending a lot of time doing things like sending out letters. That is not conducive to keeping my mind occupied. Unfortunately that means it is going where it wants, and what it wants is some ass.

The lame thing is that I really can’t call this ex and expect to get in and out with no complications. That’s just not how it works. So I have to weigh my desire to get some with my desire to not deal with any insanity. I think I am going to have to side with sanity at this point, but that could change as I get hornier. And sure as shit I will be getting hornier.

Which reminds me. Remember the Wanga bag post? Believe it or not, someone was actually Googling for whatever the fuck that Ogoun was called, and ended up on this blog. First, I am impressed it already showed up in the search engines. Second, now I am scared that some voodoo fuck is going to try to kill me. I have made fun of lots of wacky religions, but that’s the one that scares me. I saw Angel Heart, and I have no desire to have what happened to Toots Sweet happen to me.

So, I want to let anyone that reads this know that I have nothing but the deepest respect for Voodoo and the crazy people with razors that show their devotion by killing live chickens.

And I was also stunned to learn that my friend Sassy Snack had her blog flagged for objectionable content. I am assuming that if she is objectionable I must be downright obscene. She may say fuck every now and then, but I don’t think she ever wrote a post dedicated to how wonderful the word fuck is, and how flexible it is. I also doubt she ever had a post that a reader referred to as “Butt Bongo Fiesta”.

So, in response to the flagging of Sassy, I removed the navbar from the top. Actually I have wanted to remove it for some time but I never knew how. Luckily someone commented on her blog about how to do it, and I just copied from there. But I will say that it’s fucking ridiculous to flag a journal like hers as objectionable when there are so many porn spam blogs on this piece of shit.

Which reminds me…to that certain site that made me stop posting my blog in my signature, despite the fact they allow it in most cases: There are about 30 people a day who actually search the archives of your site to find this blog by finding my old posts. I know one pathetic old crone found it objectionable that there was a link to the blog, but it kind of looks like more people liked having the link.

I better get some rest. I have a lot of tasks in my many roles, plus I have to mow the grass tomorrow. Is it just me or does it seem like that sounds sexual?