Good night
Sunday, July 24, 2005
I think I am ready to move on to things more relevant to this space.
First, I ask the ladies for their opinion on a situation. This is something that happened about 18 months ago, and for some reason popped in to my mind today. (That happens. My mind makes connections that make no sense to anybody, sometimes including myself.)
I was casually involved with a girl I hat, of course, met online. She was interested, but always had excuses why we couldn’t meet. Eventually I gave up on her, but I kept talking to her because she was nice enough and I wasn’t seeing anyone. During this time she introduced me to one of her friends.
Roll forward to New Years Eve. I had my son that year, so there was no way I was going out. I was home watching movies when the girl signs on to her instant messenger and I wish her a Happy New Year. But it turns out it wasn’t the girl I had wanted to date, it was her friend. They had one of those relationships where they had keys to each other’s houses and would just stop by and hang out even when nobody was home.
They had been at a party together and the friend had one of those “I can’t believe I’m alone” nights. She was upset and ended up wanting to talk. So we spent the next hour or so just talking. It wasn’t any big deal. We didn’t talk about anything serious. As we were saying goodnight we said maybe we should go out some time.
Now, fast-forward a couple of days. I get this nasty IM from the first girl. She had gone through the archives of her messenger and seen we’d talked. She let me know that there was no way I was ever going to go out with her now, and that she had let her friend know “what I was like”.
I reminded her she’d blown me off for a couple of months, had never gone out with me, and I had totally stopped even asking her out because she’d made it clear we were never going to be going out. As far as I was concerned we were friends, and not particularly close ones.
So here is the question, should the fact she and I had talked about going out a few months earlier, but had never actually dated, made her friends off limits? Keep in mind that the failure to actually ever go out was totally because of her hesitance.
(For the record, the answer is for curiosity only. I am not in touch with either of them.)
On another note, I have come to a serious revelation. I am in that really weird middle ground where I’m not good looking enough to have women throw themselves at me, but not ugly enough to get a mercy lay. Normally I wouldn’t have a problem with that, but I am really getting tired of trying to get God to kill this fucking kitten. Going 3 months without sex when I was married was one thing, but now I’m single dammit.
You know what, I am really not in the mood for this tonight.
First, I ask the ladies for their opinion on a situation. This is something that happened about 18 months ago, and for some reason popped in to my mind today. (That happens. My mind makes connections that make no sense to anybody, sometimes including myself.)
I was casually involved with a girl I hat, of course, met online. She was interested, but always had excuses why we couldn’t meet. Eventually I gave up on her, but I kept talking to her because she was nice enough and I wasn’t seeing anyone. During this time she introduced me to one of her friends.
Roll forward to New Years Eve. I had my son that year, so there was no way I was going out. I was home watching movies when the girl signs on to her instant messenger and I wish her a Happy New Year. But it turns out it wasn’t the girl I had wanted to date, it was her friend. They had one of those relationships where they had keys to each other’s houses and would just stop by and hang out even when nobody was home.
They had been at a party together and the friend had one of those “I can’t believe I’m alone” nights. She was upset and ended up wanting to talk. So we spent the next hour or so just talking. It wasn’t any big deal. We didn’t talk about anything serious. As we were saying goodnight we said maybe we should go out some time.
Now, fast-forward a couple of days. I get this nasty IM from the first girl. She had gone through the archives of her messenger and seen we’d talked. She let me know that there was no way I was ever going to go out with her now, and that she had let her friend know “what I was like”.
I reminded her she’d blown me off for a couple of months, had never gone out with me, and I had totally stopped even asking her out because she’d made it clear we were never going to be going out. As far as I was concerned we were friends, and not particularly close ones.
So here is the question, should the fact she and I had talked about going out a few months earlier, but had never actually dated, made her friends off limits? Keep in mind that the failure to actually ever go out was totally because of her hesitance.
(For the record, the answer is for curiosity only. I am not in touch with either of them.)
On another note, I have come to a serious revelation. I am in that really weird middle ground where I’m not good looking enough to have women throw themselves at me, but not ugly enough to get a mercy lay. Normally I wouldn’t have a problem with that, but I am really getting tired of trying to get God to kill this fucking kitten. Going 3 months without sex when I was married was one thing, but now I’m single dammit.
You know what, I am really not in the mood for this tonight.
posted by R. U. Serious at 7/24/2005 11:18:00 PM
I'm R. U. Serious
From United States
I have nothing to say. I plead the 5th.
22 Comments:
Ok, assuming you're not leaving out any very important details that may change an opinion on this topic, no, the first girl had no right to 'cock block' you (for lack of better description) and call you out for casually suggesting to meet up with her friend when she blatantly gave you cold shoulder when trying to make a date happen with her. Damn that was a long sentence. Seriously though, no need to be selfish with the date potential. That's just annoying in my opinion.
I agree with Claudette. You had every right..
I've actually been thinking about anything I could have done that was out of line with this one, and I can't come up with anything.
Either she really was interested and had been delaying, or she just wanted to play and that was shot if I dated her friend.
man, been in this situation before too. how is it that some broads think that they deserve any kind of commitment without doing anything to get it?
Doesn't sound like there was any commitment on either side, so no, friends were not off limits. I know that I am one, but sometimes, I really don't get females... most of em' are really freakin stupid... and that little episode really made no sense... Sorry man, it looks like you really are a freak magnet... :)
I agree. (Uh...not about the freak part...but about that you had a right to ask out the friend.)
Then again, come to think of it (from what I've read)...maybe you really ARE a freak magnet...;)
Yeah, the chick was a self-serving bitch with no understanding of how it all works.
But let me point out the obvious:
Good thing you're not going out with such a skanky obsessive chick. Life could've been made hell.
All I want for Christmas is Xanax.
Fuck, the ladies have it...
She balled you around, her friend and you mutually agreed to perhaps meet, she gets pissy and jealous.
If she truly wanted to play, she would have let you bang her at the beginning. If she was seriously interested, she wouldn't have dragged things out with no hope in sight - either way she's a fucked up ho-bag. Plus, if her friend had a mind and spine of her own, she would have met up with you anyway or kept in contact at the very least.
A better lady is out there for you friend... one that isn't crazy or plays games.
There was no commitment... and nothing for her to be upset about... You did nothing wrong.
Have a good Monday!
Okay, here's my 5 cents.
She shouldn't have gotten upset with you. BUT... in MY opinion (which doesn't count for much either) her friend was out of line to talk to you. And depending on who did the suggestion of the two of you meeting up, if it was her friend, that is wrong. In my OPINION.
Girl Rule: If a girlfriend (a good girlfriend, like one that has the keys to your apartment, not just any girl) likes a guy, even if they have never gone out, he is off limits.
Well, that is my rule anyway. I don't date guys my friends are interested in, even if they have never even dated and even if the guy doesn't like the girl. There are plenty of other men in the world, I don't need to go after the one my friend likes.
Friends are never off limits! Friends are the best revenge(when called for) only to be out done by having sex with the bitch in questions sister or mother.
You had a right to talk to her, but like all else, that chick prob thought you were her toy or something, and since her friend met you through her computer, she prob thought she had some claim over you too...and since she can't blame her friend, she'll blame you.
doesn't sount like she should've been mad to me!
Nope, you had every right to date the friend. Sounds like the first girl was just trying to keep you as "hers" even though she wasn't into meeting you in person. She was totally wrong.
I am casting my vote into the "nope, you did nothing wrong pile".
She had her chance to go out with you and decided not to.
If she was that interested perhaps she should have spoken up when the window of opportunity was there =)
The whole thing sounds fishy to me. I know a lot of people who have been played by people online. Do you know for sure this other girl even exists? Maybe she was testing you. And I wonder about why she wouldn't go out with you, did she show you a picture? Was it really her? We need a full investigation.
your talking about females. remember that. irrational thinking females. the fact that you wanted to date her made you her property. so she owned you. the other girl should have traded the rights of other guys to date you.
i have keys to my friend's houses and some of them have keys to mine. i've even hung out at their houses without them, but checked their IM? there's something weird about that...i think the real issue here is the co-dependent & destructive friendship these 2 had. she was a bitch to block you, but this really wasn't about you. this was passive-agressive friendship at work.
All good comments. Seems pretty unanimous.
For the record, yes, there was a "friend". I know this because she had a webcam. And, no, she didn't get naked on cam. Either of them.
You know, it could be that the first chick was just not interested in you until the second chick showed an interest in you.
All I can say is there are plenty of bunnies in the forest - the heck with those two.
However, I'm old, so things may have seriously changed!
Beth Donovan
Whether it's men or women, run for the hills at any sign of possessiveness or jealousy ... unless of course you're the kind of person who sadly considers such qualities a sign that she/he really loves you.
Sounds like for once you weren't a crazy chik magnet. Luckily for you she turned you down before any real damage was done.
You did NOTHING WRONG! Aside from maybe over analysing yourself, but we all do that, don't we??
look at all the ladies on your blog....you still got it. ;)
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