5 reasons to date crazies
Sunday, June 26, 2005
With all of the bad things about dating crazy women, I thought it was time to list some of the good things. Always got to look for the silver lining after all. For the record, this list does not apply to dating crazy men. I guess it might, but I don’t date men, so I can’t say.
1) Great sex
This is a big one, and one guys talk about a lot. Crazy women are usually wild in the sack. It’s probably the biggest reason they are hard to let go of. They always come up with new things to do, and if you come up with something, they’ll be more than willing to try it. You do have to stop thinking about where they learned some of the things they like to do, but you have to do that with just about anyone. They also tend to have huge sexual appetites, so guys like me who like a lot of sex are generally pretty happy with that part of the relationship.
2) It’s never boring
Let’s be honest, sometimes you look at the person you are with and sigh, because you know exactly what is going to happen this week, next week and the week after. There’s just a rut you can get in to. But with crazy women there is no pattern. Just when you think you have them pegged, they surprise you with a new way to be crazy. If they are looking for a reason to be mad at you, they’ll find one. And if you stop doing something, they’ll find something else they don’t like. Hell, if push comes to shove, they can always imagine something you did. So you wake up every day not knowing what that day will bring. Exciting, isn’t it?
3) Amazing weight loss
When I was with the crazy lady that got me starting this whole thing, I went from 210 pounds to about 180, and 180 on my frame is downright skinny. A nice thing about being stressed all the time is that your increased heart rate really does wonders for your metabolism. You’re always burning twice as many calories as normal. Plus, the butterflies in your stomach really help keep your appetite under control. I had no problem skipping meals. Sometimes it was a little hard to keep dinner down, but some people work hard for years to develop that same “problem”. If I were a Hollywood starlet I’d fit right in!
4) You are the life of the party for the rest of your life
Hey, you guys are all reading this because I have some stories worth telling. Eliminate all the crazy women from my life and what can I talk about? Do you REALLY want another blog where somebody tells you what they had for breakfast and how their boss is a wiener? Of course not! What you want is to hear about the repeated disasters from my love life. You’re not alone. My friends love these stories. Hell, my friends tell their friends, who tell their friends. When I meet someone that knows a friend, they always know who I am, and they always have questions because they assume their friend exaggerated. I have people telling me I should have my own magazine column and radio shows because I would always have something to talk about.
5) No matter what happens, you’re prepared
Really, nothing surprises me anymore. I’m totally used to dealing with things that nobody could imagine would possibly happen. It takes a lot more to really piss me off now. It’s so easy to just tell myself “Eh, it could be worse.” and not just because I imagine it could be worse. I KNOW it could be worse. I’m at the point know where anything short of being killed as I sleep isn’t really going to phase me. And if that happens, what will I care? I’ll be dead.
So, there you have it. There are at least 5 really good reasons to date crazy women. I think I’ll go find one. I wouldn’t mind dropping a couple of pounds.
1) Great sex
This is a big one, and one guys talk about a lot. Crazy women are usually wild in the sack. It’s probably the biggest reason they are hard to let go of. They always come up with new things to do, and if you come up with something, they’ll be more than willing to try it. You do have to stop thinking about where they learned some of the things they like to do, but you have to do that with just about anyone. They also tend to have huge sexual appetites, so guys like me who like a lot of sex are generally pretty happy with that part of the relationship.
2) It’s never boring
Let’s be honest, sometimes you look at the person you are with and sigh, because you know exactly what is going to happen this week, next week and the week after. There’s just a rut you can get in to. But with crazy women there is no pattern. Just when you think you have them pegged, they surprise you with a new way to be crazy. If they are looking for a reason to be mad at you, they’ll find one. And if you stop doing something, they’ll find something else they don’t like. Hell, if push comes to shove, they can always imagine something you did. So you wake up every day not knowing what that day will bring. Exciting, isn’t it?
3) Amazing weight loss
When I was with the crazy lady that got me starting this whole thing, I went from 210 pounds to about 180, and 180 on my frame is downright skinny. A nice thing about being stressed all the time is that your increased heart rate really does wonders for your metabolism. You’re always burning twice as many calories as normal. Plus, the butterflies in your stomach really help keep your appetite under control. I had no problem skipping meals. Sometimes it was a little hard to keep dinner down, but some people work hard for years to develop that same “problem”. If I were a Hollywood starlet I’d fit right in!
4) You are the life of the party for the rest of your life
Hey, you guys are all reading this because I have some stories worth telling. Eliminate all the crazy women from my life and what can I talk about? Do you REALLY want another blog where somebody tells you what they had for breakfast and how their boss is a wiener? Of course not! What you want is to hear about the repeated disasters from my love life. You’re not alone. My friends love these stories. Hell, my friends tell their friends, who tell their friends. When I meet someone that knows a friend, they always know who I am, and they always have questions because they assume their friend exaggerated. I have people telling me I should have my own magazine column and radio shows because I would always have something to talk about.
5) No matter what happens, you’re prepared
Really, nothing surprises me anymore. I’m totally used to dealing with things that nobody could imagine would possibly happen. It takes a lot more to really piss me off now. It’s so easy to just tell myself “Eh, it could be worse.” and not just because I imagine it could be worse. I KNOW it could be worse. I’m at the point know where anything short of being killed as I sleep isn’t really going to phase me. And if that happens, what will I care? I’ll be dead.
So, there you have it. There are at least 5 really good reasons to date crazy women. I think I’ll go find one. I wouldn’t mind dropping a couple of pounds.
posted by R. U. Serious at 6/26/2005 11:42:00 PM
I'm R. U. Serious
From United States
I have nothing to say. I plead the 5th.
22 Comments:
Number 1 is definitely true.
Number 2 is also true. Some crazy women I've dated have almost given me heart attacks with their antics. But it keeps things lively.
I'm too lazy to discuss the oither points, but they're sound.
Whoa!!! Amazing weight loss, huh??? Damn....too bad I'm married or I'd have to go find me a crazy ex all of my own....at least until I lost a few pounds...;)
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crazy in the head, crazy in the bed!
You forgot reson number 6...If you want to get rid of them, you just have them committed. Hey, it's worked for men for hundreds of years...
i think you only need the first reason to justify dating a crazy.
Write a book about the fitness and weightloss benefit and you could make millions. Or have your own late night infomercial on cable TV!
I'd buy the book and give a paid endorsement of the good that your plan did for me!
Truly. Brilliant. Post. Crazies are brilliant. I doft my cap to you!
Remind me to find a crazy man to date and I'll get back to you on the similarities. Oy!
Crazies flock together...you seem to keep finding your own kind! Well done! Keep on keeping on!
What if the crazy woman wants to settle down??
crazies do make for great party storie telling time.
Hell, I never claimed to be sane. Anyone that's read all my posts knows that I say these women all have one thing in common: me.
hey now..#1 doesn't ONLY apply to crazies...
lol most of my friends and I are more amazed by the stories that are about girls that are sane rather than crazy… weve all had our (un)fair share of the p.b.f.h. (psycho bitch from hell) type ;-)
OK your post got me out of a funk today so thanks.
great post can't stop laughing.
I'm going back and forth between "You're funny" and "You're nuts".
I just couldn't decide.
Help me out.
damn. kinda makes me want to be a crazy woman. they sound kinda fun, in an exhausting way...
Snake- I am not sure that those are mutually exclusive.
Jazz- You are plenty interesting. Or at least were before your blog disappeared.
20th comment... shit I feel special.
Fuck are you right. Those nutjobs rev the metabolism like a sniper is after your ass and you have no gun... and the stalking crazies honestly make it feel that way too!
Bang on.
Crazy men are also the best lovers...by far. And the weight loss statement is true too. Read my blog if you think I don't know what crazy men can do. So, you date the crazy women and I'll date the crazy men and we'll make it into some kind of experiement, publish our findings, cash in, and toast each other on a tropical island somewhere and just laugh!
o.k, U ain't right!! Funny as all hell, but not right!! Thanks I needed that..
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